I think it’s a mix of a lot of things—kung bakit ako na-depress. People you don’t know judge you. Mahirap rin kumilos. You’re limited to do this: Para ka lang naka kulong sa anong sasabihin ng mga tao, instead of doing whatever you want and living your life.
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It was a long process. Basically, it’s a battle with yourself. Bashers will always be there. You cannot control what other people will say. Whatever you do, whatever you say, people will say something about it. Kahit nga wala kang gagawin, may sasabihin pa rin sila. Basically, they’re not happy with their lives. That’s why they bash others—to feel superior. They want to put someone down para mas mataas yung feeling nila sa sarili nila. If you have something bad to say, just keep it to yourself. Lagi nilang sinasabi, “It’s my opinion, I have the right.” You may have a point but it’s never okay to intentionally hurt someone with your words. Sapakin mo na ako, wag kang lang mag salita nang masama. Mas masakit yun eh. It’s the curse of social media and the digital world. It’s the bashers' ticket to you. Ibigay nalang yun sa karma.
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When I learned to accept that, doon ako nag simula na mag-recover. As long as you know sa sarili mo na kung anong talagang nangyari and alam mo naman na walang kang tunay na tinapakan na tao, then okey ka na. Doon ako nag simula. Slowly, I started rebuilding myself. I started appreciating myself. I started healing. I sought professional help for it, too. I think it’s really important that you seek professional help. Mental health is very important. It’s actually the most important aspect ng buong buhay mo. Depression is a very serious issue. I’m really happy that people are starting to talk about it. Kasi medyo taboo topic sya. Maraming forms of depression. Pansin ko yung ibang mga depressed people may sariling façade: laging nakangiti na malungkot, 'tapos yun pala hindi. Yung iba, nahihiya na may therapist. I feel that you just have to be open. When you’re depressed, you just have to share it, say it. Tell others na you’re depressed, that you feel like this. People won’t know what you’re going through until you speak up.
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Luckily, I have a good support system. I started believeing that I am more than what people are saying about me. I took control over my life. I could honestly say na there are times na malungkot parin ako but I’m in a better place right now, I’m more positive. Whenever I wake up, I feel like wala akong masyadong pag-iingatan. I'm living free.
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Photos taken from my account | Interview by Mels Timan
Banner image by Lui Jimenez