People & Inspiration

#ChalkAsks: How Long Should You Wait Before Dating Again After a Breakup?

#ChalkAsks: How Long Should You Wait Before Dating Again After a Breakup?

 

We don't talk about it with our exes, but let's be honest, we know that there's no broken relationship that isn't familiar with this one unspoken rule: After the split, observe three months difference before you enter the dating scene again. Either it's mutually agreed to or not, apparently, it obviously exists.

But in the world where people have become more objective, has the game already changed? Are we still obligated not to cross the line? We asked around for opinions on this 3-month rule and whether it's still relevant or not:

"I think 'di strict na 3 months. Depende kasi sa recovery period ng isang tao e. Pero give yourself time to completely heal at matuto sa mistakes from the past relationship at mag-grow." - Yazhmin, 23

Everything takes time. Maybe you could consider this three-montth time frame as a consolation for yourself to rest and heal after that one failed relationship.

"Wala na nga kayo, may parule-rule pa." - Rose Ann, 25

Since you two decided to already put things to an end, the "us" have returned to "you" and "me." Is it safe to say rules don't matter now at all? You might as well live your own life from now on.

"Depende siguro. Para maa-assess mo kung saan nagkaproblema, kung ano 'yung mga aral na pwede mong dalhin sa susunod na relationship mo para 'di na maulit yung nangyari sa past mo. Isa pa, kakabreak niyo lang, hahanap ka agad ng bago? Pa'no mo naman nasabi na mahal mo agad 'yung bago?" - Benedict, 22

Should you decide not to follow the rule, make sure you're ready and not using another person to distract you from the pain you still hold in your heart. Be fair, at least.

"Yes. For me, standard thing ng pagmomove on bago daw pumasok sa isang relasyon ulit just to make sure na naka-move on ka na nga sa past mo." - Edrein, 21

It could be that, for one person, a month or less is enough to completely move on. But if not, then take advantage of the three as long as you can guarantee that you did have moved on.

"No. because people move on and deal with their emotions in their own way and pace, so creating an arbitrary minimum just creates unnecessary mental and emotional stress. Kanya-kanyang trip and bilis lang tayo. Walang tulakan at hilahan." - Brian, 25

You can stay bitter, you can still cry, or you can just get over it. Whichever kind of person you are, take the road you feel like you needed and those who don't agree with you can keep their opinions with them. The rule here is to put yourself first.

"No. Para saan 'yang 3-month rule kung after a week dumating na 'yung para sa'yo?" - Allen, 25

Who are we to judge a person falling in love? As they say, the right one comes at the most unexpected moment. We can't stop fate after all. We just follow our hearts.

"I don't think people should rely on a specific amount of time to process their heartbreak. It's never the same amount of period for everyone. It is important though to think things over before you decide. It's okay to 'move on' whenever you feel like you made the right choice." - Gillan, 24

Recognize your own feelings. Much of how we decide to go forward should depend on either we're finally ready or it makes us happy. Nobody will understand and know you better than you do.

"Sa 'kin mas mainam na yung 3-month rule. Respeto na rin sa dati mong partner and also sa sarili mo." - Estefan, 25

Sometimes, the rule has more to do with two people respecting each other and the time they'd shared together, not just throw it away. Also, on top of it, it's to regain your self-worth that might've gotten lost along the way.

In other words, people move on in different ways. Regardless if you want to follow the 3-month rule or not, all that matters is, at the end, you put the pieces of your broken heart back together again. 

ALSO READ: The Six Fix: Relationship Talks Every Couple Should Have

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