By Maan de Vera
No matter how big or small your circle is, one thing is for sure—disagreements are inevitable. No matter how much love you have for people, you are always bound to be disappointed by them at one point or another.
While this is normal, you need to be aware of those who are intentionally hurting you A.K.A. those who have no problem taking all the good and fun stuff from your relationship at your expense.
We’ve rounded up the three important red flags that you need to carefully watch out for.
1. They know your weak spots, and they're using them against you.
You’ve opened up to them about what hurts you the most. You know that they know, and yet they always put pressure into these areas whenever it’s beneficial for them. In the same way that you wouldn’t poke the wounds of your loved ones just for fun, remember that anyone who truly cares about you will never ever weaponize your weakness against you.
2. They have already made the same mistake before.
The apology that truly matters is changed behavior. Sure, we can give someone a pass and consider a hurtful act as a mistake. But doing it again is another story. Nope, you can’t really call something that is recurring a mistake. When this happens, you might want to seriously reconsider someone’s true intention and purpose in your life.
3. They are gaslighting you.
Someone is gaslighting you when they make you question your perception of reality in order to justify their actions or gain power over you. Remember this, your feelings are always valid. When you’re hurt, you’re hurt. So, if anyone ever tries to make you believe that you shouldn’t feel that way when their direct actions are the cause of it, stand your ground. You aren’t being delusional because something bothers you. If they really want what’s best for you, they will do their best to help you get through your issues.
Just like you, we also like to focus on the sunny side of our pals, significant others, and even family members. But this doesn’t mean that we will constantly put up with the bad side. More importantly, this doesn’t mean that we should continue to be in a relationship with anyone who deliberately hurts just because we care about them and that we see something in them.
When you see these three signs in a person that you intend on keeping, ask yourself: is it worth it?
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