If there's one matter of the heart that we all can relate to, it's probably going through our first heartbreak. It's painful, lonely, conflicting—the bottom line: it sucks. I still remember when I experienced my first heartbreak, the mess of clashing emotions I felt still shocks me up to this day. It happened when I was in college, I fell in love with someone who made me feel like he loved me back for a few months then pushed me aside after realizing he's in love with his best friend.
Since I never experienced it before, having my heart broken for the first time made me ashamed of myself, especially the fact that it happened in college when every classmate or friend of mine was happily in love. As much as I want to tell you that I discovered a magical potion that you can drink to help you immediately heal and move on, it doesn't work that way. But the good news is that you can survive it, and listed down below are the things I did to move on!
1. I let myself cry.
When I experienced my first heartbreak in college, I felt like my world was crashing down, and I doubt that I'll be able to love and be loved again. Rather than forcing myself to get over it immediately, I let myself cry. I knew that being able to push back the tears and smile again could take a long time, and that's okay because I knew that one day I would wake up and realize that he’s not worth all my tears. Well, I was right.
2. I spent time with the people I love.
Although I let myself cry to my heart's content, I couldn't help but lay in my bed alone all day. That's why I'm thankful that I had friends who knew what to do when someone is brokenhearted and pushed me to spend time with the people I love. They helped me move on healthily by listening to me and made me understand that I didn't have to be alone. Having dependable friends who were willing to be there through the good and the bad can help ease stress and make better life choices. Looking back, I'm still thankful that I was blessed with family and friends who were willing to be strong for me while I went through my first heartbreak.
3. I talked about it again and again.
Just like any other firsts, my first heartbreak felt so foreign to me. I know it was annoying to hear the same story, but as someone who's going through a heartbreak, I wanted people to listen. Even if I was already repeating the same story with the same people, I didn't care as long as I vented out every pain that I was feeling. That's why when my friends are going through the same thing now, I let them talk about it again and again because I know that having someone to help you make sense of everything is good in the long run.
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4. I didn't stop myself from meeting new people.
After my first heartbreak, I didn't feel anything towards other people, even the one I found attractive. All I knew was loving someone brought me here, so I didn't want to love someone ever again. But as I went through it, I realized that I shouldn't close my doors to meet new people just because of what happened. My friends who went through their first heartbreak advised me not to hop into a new relationship immediately, but to heal on my own, but that didn't mean that I should stop my heart from fluttering if someone did something sweet for me. I took that feeling like a gentle reminder that I could love again after my first heartbreak, not immediately, but soon.
5. I kept myself busy.
From going out for a jog every morning to finishing my school works every night, I kept myself occupied as much as I could. When I stepped away from my usual routine for a bit, I got distracted and temporarily forget the pain I was feeling from my heartbreak. For me, this was the best thing that I did to survive because I was keeping my mind off from my anger and frustrations, and at the same time getting my energy out by being productive!
6. I forgave the person who hurt me.
One of the hardest steps I had to do during my first heartbreak was to forgive the person who hurt me. It was so difficult that I wasn't able to stop myself from bringing up how he broke my heart every time I got a chance to talk to people who knew him. I know it was wrong, but all I could think about at that time was to not let him off the hook. It was after a self-damaging week that I realized that I should stop doing it and not allow this hurt to become my only story. I chose forgiveness not for him, but myself. When I started to forgive him, I also allowed myself to heal and live a better life without him.
As I went through my first heartbreak, I chose to move forward and get back to my center. I didn't allow that breakup to continue hurting me to the point of hardening my heart. I chose to let myself heal. They say that you have to hit rock bottom to be able to get back up and be better, and I believe that my first heartbreak was my rock bottom. That's why now, looking back, I'm thankful that it happened. Now, I can say that I'm 100 times happier with my life than ever before.
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