The modern dating scene has now become more complicated for millennials–with more wokeness and openness to various possibilities, times have changed and so the dating landscape has evolved too. Today’s dynamics are far more different than the earlier days–it’s more complex and so this may sometimes end up at confused feelings. Having said this, the tendency to become marupok is also out there. While this sounds a bit scary, we can still do something about this. Here are some ways on how to be less marupok and more cautious when dating:
1. Manage your expectations.
As humans, expecting is already in our nature–our tendency to look for something in return when we give is how we usually treat our relationships. And this is perfectly fine because relationships should work two-way. But in dating, we should know how to keep these expectations at the same level as the person you’re with to avoid leading that person on or the other way around.
2. Learn to compartmentalize.
Although everyone is encouraged to express their feelings freely, we should realize that not everything is meant to be told. It’s important for us to distinguish which kind of thoughts we should openly communicate. By categorizing them according to importance, before deciding whether to spill or keep them to ourselves instead, we save ourselves and the other person the hassle of misunderstanding.
3. Give each other time and space.
Just because you enjoy each other’s company doesn’t mean you have to spend every minute of every day together. It may sound a bit exaggerated but it’s true – liking someone may sometimes lead to allocating too much time than the amount we’re supposed to give. Learning how to keep a safe distance so that we can watch each other grow separately is also a way to keep the bond stronger.
4. Communicate more openly.
We all know that communication is key. However, individuals express messages in their own unique way which basically stems from different backgrounds–this is why keeping an open mind is a must. Today’s dating era is already done with mind games ‘cos, really, nobody has time for that. When you choose to be mature and communicate exactly what you want constructively, you’ll do yourself and the other person a huge favor–win-win!
5. Go with the flow.
Again, we all have our own expectations and intentions when it comes to dating ‘cos that’s just the way it is. And since humans were given minds that work in mysterious ways, it’s no surprise how powerful our thoughts can be–let's start knowing the fine line between thinking ahead and overthinking so you can start going with the flow, fluid and flexible, instead of trying to contradict the tide of dating.
6. Prioritize yourself.
Even if this may sound too cliché for some, let’s always be reminded of how self-love should be the number one prerequisite before you start dating. It doesn’t just help you figure out exactly what you’re looking for, but it will also push you to continue being your own person, even if there’s someone else around. TBH, without it, the relationship is never going to work the way it’s supposed to be.
The context of being marupok nowadays is usually associated to catching feelings easily or falling instantly, and this may sound as a weakness,but it’s not. These are just a few reminders of how we can look after ourselves in the complicated world of dating.
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