People & Inspiration

In Focus: Things You Understand When You've Learned To Be Friends With Your Ex

In Focus: Things You Understand When You've Learned To Be Friends With Your Ex

 

While it's understandable for one to think that being friends with an ex is absolutely an impossible thing to do, it actually works for some people! Some might assume that the people who stayed friends with their ex have a toxic friendship, but the truth is that most were able to keep it healthier than when they were romantically inclined.

Keep in mind that there's nothing wrong with remaining on friendly terms with an ex, but it's not advisable if the break-up is still fresh, they did something bad to you, and one or both of you still want to get back together. But if all is well, we won't be surprised that you two connected again with a platonic relationship. Here, we listed the things you can surely understand when you've learned to be friends with your ex! 

1. Being teased by your friends don't affect you that much.

Whether you and your ex have the same circle of friends or you became close to his friends when you were dating and vice versa, there's a huge possibility that they're going to tease you once you become close again. Sometimes, it's just for fun since it's really nice to see two ex lovers being able to work out as friends, but other times there's a lingering hope in them that you two will get back together! But we're pretty sure that this doesn't get to you anymore at this point, because the both of you have finally moved on from the past with no hard feelings.

2. People may assume that you got back together.

Since you two dated before, don't be surprised when people who know your dating history would assume that you got back together once they see you in the same room. Even though you've already told everyone that you're just friends, there would still be people who just loves talking about you like you're characters of a movie. In order to survive these rumors, just be yourself and don't mind them because gossips always die down after a few days or so. As long as you and your ex know what's really going on, and no one is getting hurt, then everything's going to be fine! 

3. You ask each other for advice. 

Your exes are one of those people who could give you an accurate dating advice since it's going to come from someone who knows what it's like to date you. Their opinions are going to be the only objective advice you could possibily get, and this is one of the perks of being friends with your ex. However, don't do this until you're ready to hear a constructive comment from someone you used to date because they would absolutely tell you the things you were doing right and wrong before! 

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4. Their current significant other may get jealous.

When you learn to stay friends with your ex while you're in a new relationship or vice versa, the current significant other might be uncomfortable with it. And even though you're one of the lucky ones who's dating a person who doesn't mind your friendship, as much as possible, reassure your partner that nothing's going on between you and your ex and staying friends is just something you two decided on to respect the bond you had before. We're sure you already know the boundaries with you and your ex, so do this as a way to show your respect to your partner's feelings. 

5. You become emotionally mature.

Staying friends with your ex is, honestly, one of the hardest things to do. But if you manage to keep it up and have a healthy friendship then you can proudly say that you've overcome this difficult emotional challenge. It requires self-awareness, mutual understanding, and self-control. That's why being able to use these traits at dealing with certain aspects of your friendship would totally make you a much better person in handling other areas in your life especially when it comes to relationships.

We got used to putting relationships into certain boxes and labeling people who come in and out of our lives such as "ex." But if you plan to change that label into "friend," people start talking like it's their business. In reality, the roles of people in our lives are always changing. Understanding and accepting these shifts would teach you how to appreciate every relationship for what it really is. But don't let anything pressure you into becoming friends with your ex especially if you're not ready. Let this be a guide once you're about to cross that bridge and not before.

ALSO READ: In Focus: 6 Relationship Struggles And Who To Learn From

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