By Maan de Vera
Believe me when I say that I understand how it feels. Nothing is more difficult than feeling alone when you’re surrounded by people.
It seems as if you are a circle who is forced to socialize with a bunch of stripes. You should be standing out, but you’re not. Rather, you find yourself blending in... just not with the people around you. You find yourself morphing into the background. No matter how hard you try to snap out of it, you just can’t. You try to be seen, heard, and felt. However, your difference is just far too glaring. The sound of your own heartbeat is far too deafening. You try to reach out, but you also feel numb to the human touch.
It’s not like you’re not trying to connect. It’s just that it’s difficult for you to find people who want to be with you. When you do, you also do your best to keep them, but for some reason you just keep drifting away again. In the same way that the wave will always find its way back to the ocean, for some reason, you’re also pulled back to feeling out of place again. You fight your way back to the shores, only to find that the relationships that you’ve built have already been washed away. You don’t blame them, though. Not everyone can understand who you are. Sometimes, not even you.
So, you go back into that being that lonely circle, drowning in the ripple of your own thoughts and tears.
But allow me tell you this: there's nothing wrong with you.
Your actions matter even when no one is looking. In your moments of self-doubt, always remember that the things you do are gold. Aspire for great things. Be as selfish as you can without stepping on anyone’s feet. Base your decisions on your peace of mind and the happiness of your heart. That way, you won’t feel any less whether or not you get the nod of others.
Your stories matter even when no one is listening. Live a life that you’re really proud of. Make your existence a narrative that reflects who you are and all the good stuff that you want to create. Don’t miss out on telling an amazing tale just because you feel like no one will ever know about it.
You matter even when it feels like no one cares. Be unapologetic. Don’t ever pretend to be who you're not in order to fit in. Let your inner self shine through and those who will truly accept you will be attracted like a moth to a flame...or not. It doesn’t really matter anymore. The only thing that counts is how you feel about you.
At the end of the day, we’re all social beings but this doesn’t mean that you should force a relationship with other people. Be brave enough to let people in, but more importantly, don’t be afraid to watch them walk away.
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