By Angeline Cheng
Humans are social animals; it is only natural for us to crave and search for people who will accompany us in our journey to this adventure called life, and these people are what we call “friends."
But as much as we want to cling on the word “friendship” and believe in all the goodness behind it, it's never perfect. The friendships that you'll forge in your lifetime can either make or break you, and it’s normal for that to happen.
Whether it be from your best bud or that “almost” friend, these ugly truths are some of the worst-case scenarios that could ever happen to you, and we’re listing it down just so you can arm yourself with preparedness from the emotional and psychological burden that it may pour upon you in the future.
Friendship Truth #1: Your so-called “forever best friend” now may not be your best friend anymore in the future.
Don’t get us wrong, we’re not saying that every bestie relationship will not endure the test of time, but in some cases, that’s the reality no matter how sad it is. You might be thinking that your relationship now with your gal pal is the best ever and there is no way that you two will ever drift apart, but life happens. Whether it be from your too busy schedule or even the pettiest of fights, even the bestest of all friends fall out.
How to deal with it: You and your gal pal became the best of friends for something, and that is what you should always remember. To prevent this from happening, strive to find ways on how you two can bond together despite your busy schedules. Also, inculcate the mantra of “bestie first” wherein you two are willing to set aside your pride on inevitable fights, and promise yourselves to bounce back stronger than ever.
Friendship Truth #2: That budding friendship you thought would blossom into a beautiful one? It’s all a lie.
Just when you thought that a new friendship is about to add a new drop of color to your life, you realize that this friendship was all fake. Worst case that could ever happen? That potential “BFF” merely befriended you out of their convenience, or literally just used you to gain something that would benefit their own intentions in life.
How to deal with it: Always be cautious, and never fully give your trust to persons you just met, even to those persons who spark a feeling of “connection.” True friendship withstands the test of time, and you should always give it time to fully bloom into a real and solid one. Remember this to prevent it from happening to you again because trust me, you will have many of these in your lifetime!
Friendship Truth #3: The love you give to your friends won’t always be reciprocated in the same way.
In your life, you will begin to question why some people can’t give you the same amount of care, understanding, and love that you wholeheartedly give them. It may feel like you are on a one-sided friendship, yes, but the thing is, no one asked you to give that amount of care and love in the first place. That’s how the world works, sad but true.
How to deal with it: You have to fully embrace the fact that you don’t always get the same amount of what you give. Instead of moping around, be happy and proud of the assurance that you are the bigger person, and that you have so much love to give. Just continue to give with no hesitations, even if your friends can’t offer you the same. No shortcomings, no regrets.
Friendship Truth #4: There is a possibility that your close friends (or even your best friend) would drift away from you when they find a new one.
It sucks that you are left for somebody else’s company, but no matter how hard it is to accept, that’s the way life is. You can’t deprive other people their liberty to have new friends, even if it means that you’re left behind alone.
How to deal with it: Don’t cut ties, show no hard feelings, and be the better person. Always. If your bestie (excuse that, former bestie) has found their new pal, then so can you! There are so many people in this world for you to meet, to build meaningful relationships with, and you don’t deserve to be stuck in what was. Just look forward to what the future will be!
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Friendship Truth #5: Some friends that you’ll make are two-faced people who will confuse you in everything that they do.
In life, you will meet people who will confuse you so much that you will be left guessing what their true intentions are. They are there to show you how much they support and care for you on one day, and then humiliate or even say nasty things behind your back the next day. You are always keep wondering, “Is this person really my friend?”
How to deal with it: If you have seen this attitude in them before, then it's already a major red flag that you should be wary about. Don’t give this type of people a chance to become a precious part of your life, because just like their dual-edged attitude, their personality reeks of toxicity. You don’t want to get infected with their poison, right? Just be civil, and don’t attach more strings than necessary.
Friendship Truth #6: Some friends are “temporary” and they are the ones who will leave you hanging.
In your life, this kind of friend will leave you questioning why on earth you need to deal with such temporary people in your lives. Call them whatever you want: short-term, seasonal, fair weather, "lulubog-lilitaw." This type of friendship is mostly caused by unavoidable set of events, and mostly pertaining to your former classmates who you built connection with but lost because of graduation, and other circumstances. Even you are definitely guilty of this one. This is probably the most common type of friendship you will encounter in your life.
How to deal with it: On a greater schema, all things in this world are temporary, and friendships are no different. You and other people pave the way to nurture friendships and make it last long, so if efforts are not made between both parties, then that explains the kind of friendship that you and other people want for each other. Don’t dwell on temporary relationships because as cliché as it sounds, people come and go into our lives—some stay, some teach us a lesson. That friendship may not last, but at least it taught you things you will forever carry for the rest of your life.
At the end of the day, friendships are there to make our lives whole, no matter how good or bad the direction of those friendships go. Don’t be afraid to make friends because of these unpleasant truths, and always remember that even though friendships can be heartbreaking and ugly sometimes, it will also be the thing that will heal and complete you in the end. Be a bigger person, strive to keep friendships, and, if you can’t, make sure that you’ll learn something from it in the end. Here’s to making more friendships!
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