Ever since the era of aesthetically curated feeds took over our online world, people have been trying to live perfect-perfect lives worthy to be posted on social media. From achieving those so-called #bodygoals to having the time of your life while travelling, it's like almost everyone wants to showcase that they have everything that they want in life and nothing goes wrong ever.
This culture also includes the idea of a perfect relationship where things seem to be stuck in the honeymoon phase. And once you don't see it happening in your own relationship, you'll start overthinking that something is wrong. But the matter of fact is that all relationships are different, and the one and only thing they have in common is that they're not at all perfect no matter what we see from pictures and cheesy captions.
So before you demand more from your current relationship (or a prospect one,) you have to let go of the idea of perfection, and these are the ways you can do it:
1. Learn that it's normal for a relationship to have ups and downs.
Settling for a relationship that has ups and downs doesn't mean you're lowering down your worth. You're just putting your attention more on being with someone who constantly treats you with kindness, love, affection, and respect even if you're pissed off with each other. By accepting that having conflict with your partner is normal and there are certain problems that are just bound to happen, you're also keeping in mind the fact that these things are actually a healthy thing because it leads to open communication and better understanding of one another.
2. Quit comparing your relationship to other relationships.
One of the reasons why many individuals dream of having the perfect relationship is because they tend to compare their relationship to other relationships. Whenever they see a couple traveling, buying expensive gifts for each other, and constantly posting cheesy messages, they would believe that this couple never have bad days, when in reality these are all just visuals. No one knows what really happens behind closed doors because no one really shares the rough times online. The couple you would describe as #couplegoals might have a lot of good times together, but it doesn't mean that they never had a misunderstanding before (or everyday,) so comparing your relationship to one that you're not a part of would just give you unrealistic expectations.
3. Focus on your own life.
As much as your relationship should be a part of your top priorities in life, you should still have a life outside of it. By focusing on developing new hobbies, interests, and friendships, you'll see that there's a whole world outside of your relationship that would help you grow into your best self. You might be building the idea of a perfect relationship because you're so driven towards making it exactly like what you see in the movies, when in fact it doesn't actually exist IRL! Your friends and family are some of the most incredible people in your life, so cherish your relationships with them, too.
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4. Accept the reality that you two aren't perfect.
No one is born perfect in this world. Whether it's a small or big thing, we have flaws and we're bound to make mistakes. That's why having the desire to be in a perfect relationship would only lead you to many disappointments because it's something you can't force. It's okay to have expectations, but make sure first that it's something feasible for you and your partner. And before you set your expectations about what kind of relationship you want to get into, you should list down the flaws you believe you can handle and the ones you can't.
5. Always look at the beauty of it.
It's funny how some want to have a perfect relationship, when the truth is it's the most unrealistic and boring thing to have. Just imagine being with someone who doesn't surprise you or teach you new things just by simply being themselves. Imperfections and differences are actually the things that make a relationship more beautiful and comforting. The fact that someone continuously chooses and loves you through everything and vice versa is a sure sign of of a long-lasting relationship.
Instead of aspiring to have a perfect relationship where nothing goes wrong, what we should all desire to have is a "good-enough" relationship where we trust one another, can survive conflict, understand how compromise work, and are fully committed to each other no matter how rough it gets. Being with a person is not about being perfect; rather, it's about finding someone who's brave enough and will hold your hand through the nasty bits of life and beyond.
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