People & Inspiration

Daily Diaries: 5 Ways to Disagree Gracefully with Your S.O.

Daily Diaries: 5 Ways to Disagree Gracefully with Your S.O.


By Maan de Vera

You can love a person with all you heart and still disagree with them. While the experts agree that a certain amount of disagreement is good for your relationship, the truth is that it’s easy for this situation to get out of hand especially if both of you are strongly vocal about your opinions.

These tips may come in hand the next time you don’t see eye to eye with your significant other:

1. Listen.

Some of us has the tendency to be preoccupied with making a point that we forget to actually understand what our S.O. has to say. It is difficult to let someone talk especially when you feel like what they’re saying is false, wrong, or dense. However, you owe it to your partner to hear them out. Think of it this way: the best way to resolve an issue is to know exactly what it is.

2. Don’t let your feelings talk.

We all have things that we are passionate about, things that trigger anger when they are questioned, challenged, or invalidated especially by our other half. It can be really frustrating when this happens, but try to see things objectively as much as you can. Set aside how you feel even when it’s difficult and actually discuss what your point-of-view is.

3. Use positive language.

Positive scripting is key. Speaking ill can either shut your S.O. down or make them flare up. So when things are getting a bit shaky, calm yourself down and deliver your message in the most pleasant way possible. When you feel like you’re at the verge of saying something offensive, pause and think of a way to say pretty much the same thing but nicer.

4. Don’t hold your relationship as a hostage.

Never ever use your relationship to get your S.O. to agree with you. This is a band-aid solution that will cause damage to your relationship in the long run. Remember that it is unfair to make someone change their mindset just because they love you. In the same way, you wouldn’t want your S.O. to demand that you disregard your own beliefs for them, right?

5. Remember that it’s not a competition.

There are no winners and losers here. If in the end, you still find yourself on the opposite end of whatever it is that you have disagreed about, then prepare to agree to disagree. And, honestly, that’s okay.

Learning how to understand your S.O. even when you have a different perspective of things only means that you are willing to look past it or even love the fact that you are different from them. It may not always be easy, but learning to maturely deal with contrast is what makes a relationship all the more beautiful.

ALSO READ: Daily Diaries: What It's Like to Forgive the Person Who Broke Your Heart




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