Friendship is an interesting kind of love. When you have a best friend, you have someone that you can count on anytime, someone who knows how to make you laugh, and someone who is always there to support you. And because of this, we're not surprised anymore to hear that some beautiful love stories start from friendship. But, as much as we hear a lot of best friend-turned-lover stories, this doesn't mean that every friendship can easily turn into something more.
I'm one living proof that falling in love with your best friend isn't the easiest thing to handle because it's very complicated. As much as you think of it, there's always going to be a part of you that's afraid to lose your best friend just because of how you feel about him or her. I know how that feels and it drained me a lot in the beginning. But hiding your feelings too long could also lead you into something worse, and of course, I don't want that to happen. So here, let me share my story of how I handled my feelings for my best friend.
1. I made sure that I truly like him more than just a friend.
Before I made any decisions on telling the world that I'm in love with my best friend, first, I made sure that what I'm feeling for him is real. It's safe to say that during that time, I was in a phase in of my life where I'm trying to move on from my former crush because I found out he already has a girlfriend. Of course, as my best guy friend, he comforted me in every way possible and never left my side.
He has always been like that, he acts like my older brother most of the time, that's why it's not new to me anymore if he takes care of me. At first, I tried my best to think about my feelings. But as time goes by, I finally confirmed that I'm indeed in love with him when I would rather be with him than be with my former crush. It's a huge risk if you and your best friend become a couple, that's why it's best if you take time to look into things just like I did.
2. I did not rush into things.
Since it's really difficult to fall in love with your best friend, I know he would also have a hard time understanding it if he doesn't feel the same way. As far as I can remember, during that time, he's in a mutual understanding kind of relationship with a girl inside our circle and I don't want to sabotage that. That's why instead of rushing into things and confronting him about it, I kept my feelings aside first even though I was already sure about what I feel about him. I waited for the right time to tell him.
It's uncomfortable to see the person you love wanting to be with someone else, but as his best friend, I chose to act as normal as I could because our friendship is more important to me at the time. Plus, it had also help me think of more ways on how I would handle everything once I confess to him. That's why, if you're currently in love with your best friend, remember that rushing into things doesn't really end up well so it's best to take time.
3. I've waited for signs if he's into me.
Of course, when you're in love with someone, a part of you wants to know if the feeling is mutual. There's a possibility that just like me, he also fears of ruining our friendship that's why as much as he wants it to become something more, he chose to send me some subtle signals in hope that I'll notice it. Since I'm not the type of person who's confident in confessing my feelings, I just observed how he acts around me. From wanting to spend time with me to paying attention to every word that I say, I assumed that he likes me more than a friend, too. But I wouldn't know if my assumption was right if I won't ask him myself, that's why step four finally happened.
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4. I defeated my insecurities and confessed my feelings to him.
The moment I knew my feelings for him were real, I prepared myself for the best and worst outcome. I finally gathered the courage to confess, and it didn't end up as bad as I think it would. He told me that he likes more than a friend too, but not to the point of wanting to take our friendship to the next level. You could say that it's a half-rejection because we didn't look at it the same way, but I'm still glad that I took the time to assess everything before I jumped into telling him everything.
I was ready for his answer, and I didn't expect anything in return. I knew that the transition of our friends to something more is huge and he wasn't ready for it. But believe it or not, I'm just glad that I didn't hide my feelings for too long to the point that I'll become irrational and do things I might regret in the end. At least now, I don't have any 'what ifs' and I still remained close with my best guy friend. Up until now even if we're already in different relationships, we still take time to catch up and talk. I'm sure that if you're in the same scenario as me before, you'll survive it. Just don't forget to take care of your feelings above all else!
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