There are people who are currently unhappy with their lives without having any idea as to why they are feeling like that most of the time, and I used to be one of them. Even though I tried my best to comfort myself that there's nothing wrong with feeling lost, I know that I have to change something to feel better. And that's when I saw the core reason of my anxiety, and it's because I always settle for less than what I deserve.
I'm not the type of person who demands, because I always think that I have to follow other people and settle for "okay" to avoid conflict. Whether it's my partner or best friend, I recently learned that if they do respect me, they wouldn't let me settle for less that's why I shouldn't feel bad for doing something I know would make me happy. So if you're still thinking twice about standing up for yourself, here are the things I experienced when I stopped settling for less than I deserve:
1. I stopped being a people pleaser.
One of the things that I realized that made me feel distressed is how I always prioritize other people's happiness. Being a people pleaser led me to being unhappy because most just took my kindness for granted. When I started prioritizing myself and only compromising when it's something that doesn't affect my values, I saw how it made me understand myself more. I became happier with myself which also made me feel more comfortable in interacting with other people.
2. I learned to be simply, unapologetically me.
Whether it's in your relationship or family, you have to be unapologetically yourself. This means figuring out your core values and always standing by them despite other people's opinions or feelings towards you. From taking pride in my loud laughter to owning the fact that every Disney movie still makes me cry even if I'm already a young adult, these are the things that makes me "me." I also became more honest when it comes to stating my needs especially when something is bothering me.
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3. I have let go of things I can't control.
This is probably the hardest thing to do if you're so used to settling for less than you deserve. But believe that letting go of uncontrollable things would further help you experience life to the fullest. Every experience I had, even if it's irrelevant for me before, is something that became a part of shaping me to be the person I'm meant to become. That's why I learned to accept that even if it's not something that I want or planned, then maybe it's really something that is meant to happen to me.
4. I became content with who I am.
By going after the things that I deserve, I learned how to monitor my inner thoughts and emotions that make up who I am. I became more aware of the things that I can and can't commit to with the help of looking back on the choices I made in every relationship I've experienced. Plus, I also did things I've never thought I'll do like joining a dance competition or going for a swim alone. I got to a point in my life where I'm satisfied with who I am while devoting my time on the things that I can be proud of.
5. I got what I deserve.
I used to succumb with the idea that every bad thing that's happening in my life is something I deserve. I deserve to be half-loved, half-appreciated, and half-recognize in everything that I give one-hundred percent into because I'm not good enough for bigger and better things. But when I started to let go of this idea and respect myself more, I realized how freeing it is to make decisions that will surely benefit me because that's what I truly deserve.
There comes a time when you're going to stop making silly excuses as to why it's okay to settle for less, and I'm just here to remind all of you that wanting something better will need a lot of confidence and love for yourself. Don't let your doubts win and bounce back immediately because it's absolutely worth it. You deserve better, so take one step forward today.
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