Remember when you came home from the hospital after giving birth? When you posted that first photo of your little one on Facebook and the “Congrats!” messages came flooding in? And while you cherished those greetings (tried to find comfort in them, even), there was that feeling at the pit of your stomach that just wouldn’t go away, no matter how many deep breaths you took?
Then, it dawned on you: “I'm a mom now.” As you let that sink in, it seemed like all the books you read and the preps you made throughout your pregnancy weren’t enough. You were (and maybe still are) scared—and that’s okay. Most, if not all moms felt this way at some point. Need proof? Here are some of the most commonly shared mommy fears, plus tips on how to rise above them.
Fear #1: Am I doing it right? With a new baby comes, well, lots of unsolicited advice. Some swear that wrapping a bagkis around the tummy wards off colic. Others say it’s useless. You may be advised to celebrate your baby’s first birthday and Christening on the same day because “it’s practical”. Remember, moms—while it’s important to listen to what others have to say, YOU are the boss. Stick with what you believe in, and trust your gut feeling. We do, however, suggest consulting your doctor in cases that involve your baby’s health.
Fear #2: I just cannot say no. The moment your baby arrives, your friends and relatives will probably want to catch a glimpse of your newborn. But after delivery, not to mention, the sleepless nights you’ve been trying to get through, you need all the rest you can get. If you feel you haven’t the slightest energy to entertain visitors, just politely say no. You’ll be doing yourself and your baby a favor.
Fear #3: “Nakakahiyang magpatulong.” Entertaining guests is one thing. Accepting their help is another. If they do offer to lend a hand, say, in doing chores, don’t think twice about saying yes. Let’s face it, the first few months of being a mom are physically, emotionally, and mentally draining. If you need time to recuperate, there’s no harm in accepting the support in front of you.
FEAR #4: What if I never satisfy my in-laws’ expectations? If you’re lucky enough to get along with your in-laws, then kudos to you! Keep in mind, however, that your loyalty should always lie with your partner. You two are in charge of your little one—not your parents nor your in-laws. Raising a child is not about pleasing them; it’s about doing what you think is best for your baby. Acknowledge their suggestions with respect, but stand firm in what you decide as a couple.
Fear #5: No matter what I do, I could never be the perfect mom. “I want what’s best for my baby, so I have to be the best,” you think. Hate to break it to you, but it just doesn’t work that way. Being vulnerable and allowing yourself to make mistakes can be the most emancipating feeling for a mom. Allow yourself to feel, to fall, and to fail. But don’t let it define you. Get back up, dust yourself off, and try again. That’s how you grow.
We could go on and on about this list of mommy woes. Would I be able to provide for my baby? Am I spending enough time with him? We could go up to 500-pager, and still wouldn’t be able to cover everything! But you know what? In the end, you just have to trust your own way. While you find it hard to believe in yourself, well, your baby thinks you’re topnotch! After all, that’s what matters, right?
To all the moms out there who are trying to find their way—from the minute your baby was born, to bathtime, to the sleepless nights, to playtime, and every moment in between, we got your back, together with Baby Dove! Yes, mommies, Baby Dove proudly believes that there is no right or wrong way to be a mom—only your way. So the next time anxiety kicks in, remember, you are not alone in this special journey. We’re with you the whole way through!
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