Whoever you are, breaking up with someone you love is absolutely going to hurt. A lot. You're going to think that this is it, that you're not going to get better. But you will, and I'm sure that you know that, too. That's why when you see your friend suffering from one, you definitely know how it feels and would want to do almost everything to help them move on.
But just like moving on itself, helping your friend to do so is not an easy feat. Unfortunately, it's more than just bringing them their favorite snack or having an inuman sesh with them. It's going to take a lot of understanding and emotional support on your part. To help you through this process, these are the ways how I helped my broken-hearted friend to get over her heartbreak.
1. Don't intervene.
It's normal to want to help your friend during their moving on phase, especially if you see them crying their hearts out and looking so hopeless. But as much as you know you're a good friend, the one thing that you should never do is intervene with their problem. Even though I've been there through the best and worst times of their relationship, I refuse to make the move for my friend and try to fix their relationship even if they're begging me to. It's because I know it wouldn't just make me officially part of the problem, it could also make them expect I'm willing to fight their own battles.
2. Ask how you can help.
During this stage, your friend needs you to help them move on. But the truth is, you don't really know how unless you ask them. This is exactly why you shouldn't do something because you think its what's best for them before they even tell you anything. Just simply ask them what they need right now. It might be as simple as joining them in their movie marathon or going shopping together. Whatever it is, make your friend feel that you're there for them.
3. Avoid bashing their ex.
When you see your friend hurt, of course, a part of you already hates the person who hurt them. But try your best to balance things out when they're ranting to you about their ex. I admit that it's hard especially if there's a lot of things you didn't like about their former S.O. that you want to share so bad right now that they've broken up. But know that it wouldn't help your friend. In my experience, instead of helping her forget about her ex, I unconsciously just kept fueling the anger that she has for him.
4. Respect how they grieve.
It's okay to share things that you did that helped you move on from your ex, but acting like you know everything about this heartbreaking phase is a major no-no! In reality, your friend would do a lot of things to ease the pain, even if it seems questionable to you. But just respect what works for them. Remember that we all have different ways of moving on. When my friend did a lot of things that I didn't understand, instead of scolding her, I remained quiet and supported her. Even if it hurts me to see her like that, I just know that it's what she feels she needs to do at the moment. As long as I know she's safe, then I'll just be here when she needs me.
5. Help them get back out there.
I'm sure that you've experienced heartbreaks in the past, too, and one of the things that really helped you is getting back out there even if you're forcing yourself. Well, that's also the case for my friend. Yes, you should let your broken-hearted friend cry for a week and heal for an ample amount of time. But don't let them stay there for too long. The only way that my friend saw that things would get better was when she got back out there. Fortunately, she realized that the universe didn't end just because of one tiny speck A.K.A. her past.
From trying new things to visiting new places, it would really be a huge help if they can have a fresh start in their life. I know that you have an idea of how hard it is to get over someone. But you should also remind your friend that there is a light at the end of the tunnel because I'm sure that you want your friend to be back to her cheerful self, too! At the same time, don't judge their phase and remind them that no matter how long it takes, you'll be by their side. That's what girl friends are for, right?
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