Whenever we see people post about their blooming love lives online, the hopeless romantic in us can't help but wish to get back on the dating cycle. That's why when someone makes us feel special, we instantly get hooked without realizing that it could be a trap. One day, they're this sweet and lovable S.O., then the next day they're this cold and nowhere-to-be-found person who says things like, "I'm not looking for anything serious."
Well, when you hear lines like that, the first thing that you should do is run away as fast as you can because they're not good news! If you think you're someone who easily falls for this trap, but is willing to stop this vicious cycle, here, we listed down the ways on how you can stop your "almost" relationship from wrecking you before it even begins.
1. Be honest with your feelings.
One of the things that make "almost" relationships happen is how most of us are afraid to be honest about how we feel. Whether you're the one who doesn't want to be in a relationship or the one who's willing to commit, it's best to talk about your feelings once and for all before things get out of hand. No matter how hard it is, just tell the truth. There's no guarantee what would happen if you further pursue what you have right now, but lowering your expectations once you know the real deal would be helpful.
2. Don't get too attached.
When you're with someone 24/7, doing things that couples do, and talking over the phone when you're not together, chances are you'll get attached. As much as possible, don't get hooked on anyone so easily especially if they can't give you any assurance about your relationship. Believe us when we say that if you let yourself get caught up with your emotions, it would be harder for you to get out of that toxic connection.
3. Set boundaries.
You know yourself best than anyone around you which means that you also know what works for you and what doesn't. You know the boundaries that you should keep to protect you from unnecessary harm. Start with the things that you're not comfortable doing with them because you're "just friends" like holding hands or staying at each other's place. If they can't respect your boundaries, it's best to cut them out of your life.
4. Don't commit.
First and foremost, if you're not in a relationship, then it means that there's no exclusivity or whatsoever. Don't free your schedule just for them, and don't wait for them to be ready. Be busy with your life and have fun without them because if you keep expecting that they'll text you any minute now to go on a date, you're unconsciously being loyal to someone can't do the same for you. Remember that your life shouldn't revolve around a relationship that doesn't officially exist, so you won't get too tangled when things get messed up.
5. Don't act like you're their partner.
It's easy to act like a boyfriend/girlfriend to someone even if you're not officially dating. And it's because of this that, sometimes, boundaries are forgotten. From getting jealous with the people they're with to becoming territorial over them, these things shouldn't happen if you have talked about it in the first place. If you're calling it casual, then you have to go on with eyes open that you have no right to be clingy, jealous, and anything that shows you're demanding too much. Just remember to not do anything irrational that you would potentially regret especially if you two have already set boundaries.
6. Respect yourself.
We're now living in a world where getting validation from other people is epidemic, but it doesn't mean that you should catch on, too. Instead of wanting for someone to see the best sides of you, how about you validate it yourself? If the person you like is making you feel used, unattractive, or not good enough, have the courage to walk away. Staying just shows that you don't respect yourself enough, and you owe yourself so much more than that.
At the end of the day, you're the only one who's in control of your decisions. But at the same time, you don't have to compromise your values just because you want to continue having a good time with someone. The best way to avoid being in an "almost" relationship is to have enough control to protect yourself from people who make you feel anything less than secured. Realize that if they don't want you now, perhaps they wouldn't want you in the long run, too.
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