#ABSCBNLifestyleInspo Bianca Gonzalez-Intal: How I Deal With Social Media Pressure As A Mom

#ABSCBNLifestyleInspo Bianca Gonzalez-Intal: How I Deal With Social Media Pressure As A Mom

Us moms, we are so hard on ourselves. I know I am. “Am I doing this right?” “Why is my baby still crying?” “Am I doing enough?” “Bakit ang galing nyang mommy?” “Paano niya nagagawa yun?”  Day in, day out, I find these questions in my head. My insecurities as a mother and even as a woman hounding me,  and I often think I might not be doing a good enough job. It's indeed tough being a mom—and I always have to remind myself that I should not be this hard on myself.

Credit: @Bianca Gonzalez Intal

Instagram. Facebook. Twitter. These have honestly all contributed to my being insecure as a mother. Seeing all the beautifully lit, perfectly curated photos of other mothers on my feed, while I would be home in my ratty pambahay, oftentimes going whole days without taking a bath, with my infant in my arms, with my back aching because I didn't want to move for fear it might wake the baby up. (Who else has experienced this, mommies?) Rightfully so, when I became a mom, I made sure to be extremely conscious about what I'd share online. I wanted to make sure I shared not just the beautiful moments of motherhood, but also the tough, exhausting, challenging, unpretty side of it.

As a mom, not everyday is a good day. But when you see motherhood posts on social media, a bulk of them look like straight out of a magazine editorial. And seeing that when I was first pregnant over three years ago already painted an unrealisitc picture of what to expect once I gave birth. Now that I am a mother of two, I try to make sure to share both the good and not so good faces of mom life. 

Credit: @Bianca Gonzalez Intal

It is easy to feel down when we see other’s social media posts. How one mom can seemingly do it all—take care of the baby, cook for her husband, clean the home—all without househelp. Literally, PAANO?! Or how another mom manages to go out of the house with her kids dressed so nicely, with her hair neatly fixed and a bit of makeup on. HOW?! Or how other moms can get their kids to eat, brush their teeth, dress up, all on their own with no crying or drama. WHAT!

I keep reminding myself this one most important lesson I’ve learned as a mom: Every mother is different, and every child is different. If we keep comparing ourselves to the moms we see on social media, or even our mommy friends, we will always, always feel like we aren’t enough. They handle things their own way, their kids have their own personalities, just like we handle things in a way that is unique to us, and that our kids are also unique.

Credit: @Bianca Gonzalez Intal

I know this is easier said than done—to “not compare.” But we have to. We have to at least try. Know that that mom you think is a supermom may be great, but there is something that you do and you have as a mother to your child that she doesn’t. We are all different, we all have different strengths and weaknesses as mothers. It’s okay to feel down every now and then. It's okay to feel sad, but just keep coming back to the bigger picture that you are a good mom doing everything that you can for your child. 

Allow me to share with you a comment that one fellow mom posted on my social media page. It was her reply to a post of mine sharing how exhausted I was one time when my baby was just crying all day. She said, “God knew exactly what kind of mother your daughter needed, even before she was born. You are all she needs.”

I then thought to myself—we are all our kids need. We are enough. Remember that.

Credit: @Bianca Gonzalez Intal

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