None of us are strangers to having a crush—that brief yet intense infatuation for another person. It could be someone we just saw at the cafeteria or someone who had been in our life for years, but you suddenly exudes a whole new different appeal to us.
Our crush is the reason we strive to be better or the reason we feel doomed because, well, we like someone who we have zero chances with. It's because of them that we hype our expectations up without realizing that these expectations also shape our reality. It cantake a toll on our emotions, so we need to be careful in harboring feelings so easily for someone. So to help you manage your expectations when you're madly and deeply infatuated, we listed down the things that you should be mindful of!
1. Don't assume that everything that they do is about you.
When we have a crush, we tend to put meaning in everything that they do. For example, you find out that they suddenly like sports, then you would assume that it's because of you since you're currently a part of your school's volleyball team. Or you believe that it's because you're good in Math that they want to be good in it, too. In reality, your crush can like whatever they want just because they want to and not because of you. Also, there's a possibility that they didn't even know that you like it in the first place. Just look at this as a coincidence that you can use so you can have a chance to have a conversation with them rather than something to feed your assumption that you two have that instant connection.
2. Know that your crush isn't perfect.
Maybe in your eyes, your crush can never do anything wrong that even their flaws look cute. Well, don't worry because we totally get it. After all, you wouldn't like them if you think they're a complete loser, right? But let's get things straight—at the end of the day your crush is just as imperfect as you. There are still things that you don't know about them that you might not possibly find appealing. That's why realizing this would help you lower your expectations and lessen your insecurities at the same time.
3. Don't daydream too much.
We know that it's hard to think about other things when you have a crush. You just love daydreaming about them and the things that you two would do when you date. But best believe us that daydreaming too much can lead you to a lot of disappointments. Sometimes, it's much worse than what you expect. That's why it's best to focus on other things, too. Don't waste your time just thinking about someone who doesn't even think about you. Just put your attention on things that would benefit you better like your hobbies and studies. You never know, they might start noticing you because they can see you're doing something that you enjoy.
4. Try to get to know them more.
Even if you've been friends for a long time or you just met them for the first time, there's a lot of things you still don't know about them. That's why instead of concluding things, try to get to know them more. If you're just acquaintances, then make a move to be closer to them. And if you're already friends, then try to hangout with them more. You might find out that they're not as cool as you think, this doesn't mean that you shouldn't like them anymore. This would just help you understand that they're more than their cool job or their taste in music. Remember that the less you know about your crush, the more likely you are to think highly of them.
5. Open yourself to the idea that they might not like you.
Sometimes, even though you try your best to impress your crush so they would notice you, things don't always turn out the way you want them to. Unfortunately, it's hard to make someone like you the way you like them. Maybe they just see you as a friend, and as much as we don't want that to happen, it's the reality. That's why instead of thinking that there's a slight chance they would like you back, it's better to just keep doing you and let the chips fall where they may.
Take everything you see with a grain of salt. You shouldn't base your personal satisfaction on your crush since you really can't control everything, including their feelings. This doesn't mean that you should stop liking them, though. If ever it does work out between the two of you—then that's amazing. But if it doesn't, know that it's alright if you didn't meet your expectations. Be content with whatever the result is because you can't just force something that isn't meant to be.
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