People & Inspiration

Daily Diaries: Things You Don't Owe Your Ex After A Breakup

Daily Diaries: Things You Don't Owe Your Ex After A Breakup



From how we conduct ourselves to what we do on a daily basis, many choices we make in life are often influenced by our partner. And when the time has come that your relationship no longer benefits the both of you, ending things with them also means officially removing their importance in your life. It might sound harsh, but it's the truth. Even if you spent years of your life making each other happy, they don't owe you anything afterwards and vice versa.

After the breakup, you can now do the things you want to do without them hindering you or making you feel guilty. You know that there are now boundaries, but it looks like your ex doesn't. If they are still all over your business, here are the things that they clearly don't have the right to demand from you:

1. An apology just because you fell out of love

This usually happens when you broke up with them even if they didn't want to. We completely understand their perspective on this. They're hurt and they want you to feel sorry for hurting them, and we know you do. Yeah, sure, apologize for hurting them even though you didn't really want this to happen. But if they think that you need to suffer first for them to forgive you, then that's a whole different scenario that you shouldn't get involved with. Although it sounds like it's a bad thing, falling out of love is not anyone's fault. Some things are just really meant to end and sadly one of them is your attraction. You would just make your relationship more painful if you stayed even though you don't like them the same way anymore, so don't apologize for walking out.

RELATED: Daily Diaries: What Happens When You've Finally, Truly Learned To Let Go

2. A different kind of relationship after the romance ended

When your ex ends their breakup speech saying that they want you two to stay friends and would hope nothing would change between the two of you, walk away immediately. You don't deserve to have someone in your life who still wants the perks of having a relationship, but doesn't want the commitment that comes with it. If you don't want to be friends with them, then don't. But if you do, just be aware that there are existing consequences if you stay friends with your ex especially if you still have feelings for them. Doing it just because they want to just shows that they still have control in your life which they shouldn't really have in the first place. 

3. A "grieving period" before you start dating again

Imagine meeting someone so amazing, but you can't date them yet because of the "three-month rule." You never know, they might be the one for you and you just missed out on being with them just by following a breakup rule that doesn't even make any sense. If you meet someone just after a month of ending your relationship, just go for it! As long as you're not using them as a rebound or as a meaningless distraction, then there's nothing wrong with pursuing the new person you're attracted to. Just make sure you're ready and you're doing it for yourself.

4. Explanations about your new life without them

One of the things that you possibly didn't have during your relationship was the freedom to do anything without thinking if it would affect your partner or not. Once your relationship ends, so does their opinion about your life which means that you don't owe them any sort of explanation anymore. See the people that you want to see and be the person that you've always wanted to be without looking back and feeling the need to update or explain yourself to your ex. You are your own person as you always have been, and now you're simply much more free.

5. To make them feel better

Whether it's your guilty conscience or the big heart that you've always had, you don't owe it to your ex to make them feel better after the breakup. You don't have to feel so bad if they're in agony. You don't have to keep walking on egg shells just to keep them from  further breaking apart while sacrificing your own process. You don't need to check up on them because God knows it would only make things worse. Breakups are hard for everyone, but you don't have to let your conscience drive you nuts. Trust that they (and you) will make it out and be able to move on with life with a new purpose and never feel the need to look back again.

Starting to realize that you don't owe your ex anything would help you move on in the healthiest and easiest way possible, but you also shouldn't pressure yourself. Some can move on in just a matter of weeks, while some take years. If you have an ex who still feels entitled, don't let them get to you. Don't fall for their tricks or even your guilt, and carry on with life without them.

ALSO READ: Daily Diaries: What To Do When Your Friends Don't Get Along With Your S.O.




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