“I’m over it.”
There are plenty of times during your moving on phase when you’ll say it out loud in hopes that you can make yourself believe that that is the case. Then they make one move on you, and you are back to square one. But letting go is a process, and you cannot force yourself to move on and be okay in a snap.
But there will come a time when you’re casually listening to music, then you’ll stop dead in your tracks upon hearing their favorite song. You wait for the tears, but, for some reason, they no longer come. The song continues and ends, and you are okay. You go to your favorite places waiting for the avalanche of memories to hit you as always, but they don't. You then exhale and realize that you’re breathing without their name in your throat. This moment of bliss after months of struggling makes you feel liberated—from your feelings, relationship, and your ex.
Here’s what really happens when after trying so hard, you finally, effortlessly and unknowingly, learned to let go of the past:
1. You stop waiting for the text that will never come. There were times that you earnestly wait for their name to pop-up on your phone. You wait for their message, maybe asking you what’s up, hoping that they think of you just like you think about them. But there will come a time when you’ll be at peace with the fact that what you had was over and will just appreciate the time you shared together.
2. Party for one isn’t lonely anymore. You used to slow dance in the dark while crying, but you now throw a dance party for yourself. You now appreciate the alone time you spend loving yourself more than you thought you would. You’ll catch yourself smiling, thinking about how you've grown rather than regreting what could have been.
3. You accepted your own version of a happy ending. We all have different stories and different endings. As they say, if it isn’t happy then it isn’t the ending yet. When you've finally, truly let go, you’ll realize that, maybe, being out of each other’s life is the version of happy ending both of you deserve—the best ending both of you should have: that your time together was just a chapter and not the whole book.
4. You don’t need to distract yourself anymore. We all have this hobby we do just to get our ex-lover out of our mind. But later on, you’ll genuinely enjoy the things that used to be simply your distraction. Just like with a person, you slowly fall in love—this time with something you enjoy doing.
5. Someone who look like your past love is now just another face. When you just got your heart broken, there is a tendency that you see them in everyone—the hair, eyes, the sound of their laughter, the way they walk. And you’re deeply distraught by it. But when you've learned to let them go completely, every face that resembles theirs will be nothing more than a familiar face—a face that no longer breaks your heart, but a reminder that you were and are capable of loving.
6. You're genuinely happy for them when they find someone new. When the news reached you that they’re now seeing someone else, you’ll feel indifferent at first. Perhaps, you won't show any reaction. But when it sinks in, you’ll feel a genuine relief for them because you know how happy they once made you and that happiness is now going to be felt by another person. You’ll also want them to find that kind of feeling, after all.
7. You still believe in true love, but you know that it wasn’t what you had with your ex. Bitterness will not get you anywhere—it is a sign that you haven’t moved on. The truth is, just like your relationship, your moving on process will also end. When you’ve completely accepted the fact that your love story with your ex is over, there will be room for someone new. You will not rush but you will be hopeful. You’ll just acknowledge the fact that your fairytale ending will not be with your past lover.
Finding out that you've finally let go isn't this big moment of epiphany. Sometimes it's a series of realizations that you can already live your life without them—that you almost forgot them already and not think about them from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to bed.
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