Being ghosted is already worse on its own, but being emotionally ghosted is the absolute worst. They are there with you physically, but you feel the obvious emotional detachment—you can feel them, you can see them, you can talk to them, you can just put your hands out and touch them, but you can never reach and touch their soul anymore.
When you are the one left hanging you’ll always be the last one to let go, it’s like you have to answer your questions all by yourself. And you still hope for them to do the things you always do—like walking beside them and leaving your hand open, hoping that they’ll hold it again, just like how they used to, even for the last time.
For those who have felt abandoned emotionally, here are a few things you might have gone through:
You’ll start doubting yourself. Overthinking isn’t attractive, they say, but you won't be able to help it. You’ll start thinking that you weren’t enough or that you are too much. Gazillion questions will start popping out and you won’t know the answer because you honestly don't know what you did that pushed them away.
You’re bothered because you’re the one who cared too much. Feeling too much isn’t your fault, that’s part of caring. But you can’t help but feel an overflowing sadness. Learning to live without the person you thought would always be there for you is a process that will take more time than you think.
You start questioning everything about your relationship. Whatever that relationship is, may it be a romantic one or an innocent friendship, you’ll start doubting the foundation you both built through the years and how come it’s too easy for them to let you go.
You try to hold on to that connection. They must’ve promised something to you that you’re still holding on to. But the truth is that you’re just holding on to empty promises. You used to be each other’s constants, each other’s favorite. They are the first person you look for in a crowded room but now, a simple "hi, hello" is the best interaction you could get.
You hear silence when you two are alone. Once a laugh-filled room turned into crickets and cobwebs. What used to be a non-ending conversation turned into pregnant pauses, deafening silence, and you do not know what to do anymore. You can’t tell them what you really want to say in fear of scaring them further away. You seem to suffer in silence.
You still try to finish what started. Nowadays, closure is a privilege–it isn’t something we get easily. You have to have the strength to ask for it and they must have the guts to give it to you. But since there isn’t a closure present here, you are quietly, desperately trying to have a closure alone. You’re not asking anything of them, you just want to talk about everything that still bothers you, what went wrong, and what happened.
Hoping isn’t bad, expecting is. It's shouldn't feel like it's too much to hope that people would be humane enough to give you answers to the questions they’ve unconsciously put into your mind. You need answers, and believe it or not, you already have them. Them ghosting you isn’t all your fault; they’re just not brave enough to admit that the thing between you isn’t working anymore. And that they are the guilty party for leaving you in a way that nobody deserves.
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