By Daniel Baysa
Chalk Campus Correspondent
A breakup doesn’t just affect the couple in question. Each of their friends and family would all feel it when the people they’ve known and loved ended their loving relationship. If your friend goes through a breakup, you’ll want to give them all the support they need. Here are some ways you can help your broken buddy through these rocky times.
1. Stay and listen.
The only first move you should make is being with your friend. Maybe they’re putting up a strong front. Maybe they’re exploding with anger, or they’re just plain devastated. Whatever the case just stay by their side and offer a helping hand, perhaps even a shoulder to cry on if need be. Don’t ask for anything you don’t know until later. Don’t tell them you never liked them, you’ve that they can do better, or that you’ve gone through it before. With the pain being fresh, your first priority isn’t to talk, but to listen.
2. Keep them healthy and safe.
Breakups can bring people down to their worst. Maybe your friend will try to take out their rage on other things. Maybe they won’t feel like taking care of themselves. Your job is to stop them from doing things they’ll regret. Don’t let them hurt people that don’t deserve it or break things they’ll never replace. Make sure they’re eating, drinking and sleeping right. Remind them to deal with necessities they’re neglecting, or take care of them yourself if they really aren’t feeling it.
3. Give them something else to think about.
Distracting your friends from thinking about their exes could be a good starting solution. Use this as an opportunity to strengthen your bonds together. Don’t just limit it to old activities like gimmicks with the barkada. Indulge yourselves in new experiences like pampering yourselves at a spa, taking new classes like martial arts or dancing, play a few sports, go out for a few days, etc.
4. Don’t rush them into meeting someone new
Getting together with somebody fresh from a breakup can go very, very wrong if the impulsive romance only came from sadness and desperation. Don’t expect them to move on and go back to their happy selves right away through a hookup. They’re vulnerable and likely to hurt even more if things get screwed up again. Leave the dating scene and look elsewhere for your friend’s recovery. After all, healing takes time.
5. Let them find closure on their own
Ultimately though, you can’t do everything for your friends. It’s up to them to decide when and how they want to move on. Whether they want to make up with the old ex or never see them again, all you can do is listen and see if they’re thinking straight. When it comes to the final step of moving on, all you can do is show your support and hope for the best.
Breaking up with your SO can bring a lot of feelings to the surface. Maybe you start exploding with rage. Maybe you feel empty and depressed, like your heart’s been clawed out from inside you. Maybe there might have been some happiness or relief as you made it clear that you don’t want to be together. Whatever the case, you wouldn’t want to be alone while you’re going through all this. So, as in all things with your friends, through thick and thin, always be ready to be there for them when they need you the most.
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