With all the romantic comedy films that I watched wherein the main characters just look at each other’s eyes, and they know immediately that they want to be together, I thought I was about to experience that kind of love, too. The first time we met, I instantly felt comfortable with him which actually surprised me. After a few weeks of dating, we fell for each other and made it official. At that time, I thought this was it, but I was wrong.
They made it seem so easy in films, but the truth is that it’s one of the most confusing and exhausting types of love, something that we call a “whirlwind relationship.” It's the type of relationship that makes you feel so sure about someone right from the beginning until something happens that leads you to a screeching halt. However, through this rollercoaster journey, I learned a few things that I would keep in mind so I’m more aware the next time I meet someone new.
1. A strong foundation is a must.
Relationships should get better over time, not make it worse. That's why in my experience, it was hard for us since we didn't really have any starting point. We talked, dated, and just went with it until I realized I’m actually risking my heart to a stranger. Next time, if I plan to date someone I just met, I need to take time and delve in the getting-to-know stage first.
2. There should be a physical and emotional connection.
When it comes to relationships, one of the things that we should keep in mind is being fit for each other. Whether it’s physical or emotional, you must know how important it is to have a connection with your partner. In my whirlwind relationship, our chemistry was good. From a third person’s point of view, you would look at us and assume that we were in absolute joy. In the end, I learned that physical connection may be important, but it wasn't enough. We might have looked compatible on the outside, but we don’t match on the inside. We don't see eye to eye often since we were completely opposite with a lot of things, and it includes emotions. Something that I would keep in mind now is that it's okay to slow things down to ensure that we're on the same level of affection for each other.
3. You should desire to have something romantic, not perfection.
Since we went ahead with our relationship too fast, we actually didn't know a lot of things about each other including the things that make us happy and upset the most. And because of this, we looked at our relationship as something that should give us happiness all the time to the point that we refused to talk about our problems because we were afraid to crack something that would make our relationship more complicated. Sadly, instead of wanting a relationship that grows, we wanted one that's perfect. Looking back at it now, we both had expectations that got the best of us which in the end led us to disaster.
4. Pay attention to red flags.
Red flags are red flags no matter how much you try ignore them, thinking that things would change eventually. During our relationship, I already noticed things that I wasn't comfortable with about him, but I brushed them off because I thought it didn't matter. Truth to be told, it was one of the reasons why we didn’t work out. That’s why I should have addressed the things that bothered me from the start instead of feeding myself with the thought that "it's not a big deal" when the truth is, it is for me.
5. Make sure you and your partner are in it for the right reasons.
One of the things that makes a whirlwind relationship so confusing is you don’t know a lot of things about the other person. That's why as much as this person tells you that they love you and they would always be there for you, it's kind of hard to believe when you don't completely know them. I was sure that I loved him, but I wasn't sure if he felt the same way. At the same time, I had no idea what were his reasons when he entered our relationship. I only figured it out when we ended it. And sadly, it wasn't the right one.
At the end of it, I have no regrets. The important thing is that I've learned my lessons, and I still cherish that short time I had with him. Even if it ended too fast too soon, I can truly say that it was an experience worth having.
ALSO READ: Daily Diaries: Things You Unconsciously Do Once You're Over Someone
GIFs from GIPHY