People & Inspiration

In Focus: 5 Questions We Shouldn't Ask Ourselves After A Breakup

In Focus: 5 Questions We Shouldn't Ask Ourselves After A Breakup



At least once in our romantic lives we go through the hard times of falling out of love which is accompanied by messy, painful, and soul-crushing breakups. It usually ends with one party pressing down the finale button and the other being left heartbroken. No matter how you broke things off, putting things to an end would sting one way or the other.

Deep down, you’ll take it the rough way, agonizing up until the day healing and acceptance finally hit you. Problematic questions answerable by a post-breakup talk may play out in your mind that range from longing to self-belittling. Here, we list down the questions that plague us once we get out of a relationship that left us in pieces.

1. Saan ako nagkulang?

It’s okay to reflect on the past so as not to repeat the same mistake twice, to know what worked and what didn’t. But that doesn’t mean you should always find the fault in you. The act of blaming yourself would do you no help. Regardless of the honest truth that you had shortcomings, breakups shouldn’t leave you undignified instead provide you with lessons to let go peacefully and move forward.

 2. Makaka-move on pa ba ako?

Of course, you can. It just depends on how much effort you’re willing to put into it. We know that love does not just disappear easily and that you don’t just give up on the people you love. However, clinging to a person who wants nothing more to do with you again and again won’t get you past the grieving. That being said, you should allow yourself to wrap the lingering feelings up and make room for new ones that might guarantee you major happiness in life. 


3. Is love even real?

It's a struggle to believe in the idea of love again following a severe failure in a relationship that you used to think is your end game. This got you wondering if you can still find your forever person in the form of someone whose love will never fade away–your ex’s exact opposite. To wait would be torture, but doing so will bring you to a relationship that will last this time around. For the mean time, go and savor what the single life can bring and just hang in there.

 4. Panget ba ko? Kapalit-palit ba ko?

The bitterness that comes with parting ways often drives most people to succumb into their frustrations. Posing this kind of overboard question isn’t fair. Looks aren’t always the case, and, even if it is, the last thing you should do in order to recover is underestimating yourself as if you’re not good enough. You are enough on your own. Some people just prefer things differently, and that's not your fault. 


5.  Paano na ko?

Stop yourself from playing the victim. Breakups don’t determine the losers so try not to make yourself one. Let’s face it, you’ve been skilled at being independent for a moment right before you stumbled into somebody and deeply commit to a relationship. That means no reason for you to get scared of doing things alone again. Now, sort your thoughts and remind yourself that your ex isn't everything to you. Then, finally, work on getting back on your feet.

There’s no obvious answer as to why love falls apart, yet one good tip to feel whole again is to take your time. Don't dwell on the unanswered questions that make your moving on process more painful than it already is. Never doubt yourself that you will find love again, because you will–starting with the person staring right back at you in the mirror. 

ALSO READ: In Focus: 5 Signs You're Ready To Start Dating Again

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