Was there ever a time where you were in a serious relationship with someone but caught yourself getting attracted to a stranger or feeling kilig over of someone in your class? Maybe this stranger is really good-looking, or your classmate did something unexpectedly sweet to you that's why you started looking at them differently. Well, whether it's a happy crush or just your appreciative self fostering, as long as it's harmless, then it's manageable.
But when does liking someone else start being a problem? We asked 21-year-old writer Nicole, who's currently in a five-year relationship with her boyfriend to share her thoughts regarding this certain issue. What are the dangers of this situation and what did she learn from her experience?
1. There's a huge possibility that it may lead to cheating.
It may be harmless at first, but flirting can lead to an infatuation that you might act upon. Nicole says, "When the lying and hiding starts, it's something you can consider cheating already. I first considered answering "guilt," but not everyone who is unfaithful feels remorse over cheating. So, when you start lying about or for the third party or when you begin hiding things like text messages, that's when it begins to become an affair."
2. The time will come that you'll have to choose between them.
Surely, this love triangle will be getting in the way of your relationships (generally, your life) anytime soon. The longer you continue it, the harder it will get when the time comes that you'll have to choose between them. After all Nicole and her long-term boyfriend have been through, she will always choose her partner. "We've been together for more than five years, and no one has stuck with me through my best AND worst than my partner. I've done the same for him and that's why I'm confident that no matter how big the crush is, I will always choose my partner."
3. It's impossible for your partner to NOT notice it.
If you haven't chosen anyone yet, you have to be mindful that your partner is not oblivious. To end this drama, Nicole says, "You have to be honest. Tell your partner what you feel about the other person. Tell them if the other person makes you feel happier than your partner does. Fight if you have to as long as you sort it out with your partner properly and keep them in the loop. It's better that the words come from you than hearing it from another person." They may not say anything about your on-going affair, but your partner feels it, so you better say something sooner rather than later.
4. Once you're in a relationship, you should be FULLY committed to your partner.
No what ifs, no setbacks. "The most frustrating part of liking someone else, while you're in a relationship is realizing that there are restrictions now," Nicole shares. "Unlike being single, you are not allowed to act upon your crushes anymore because you've already committed to someone." So if you know you're not ready to commit, maybe it's best if you don't enter a serious relationship yet. It's because a relationship doesn't only consist of mutual feelings for each other, it also involves absolute honesty and faithfulness to one another.
Have you ever experienced this in your love life? If yes, do tell us your experience in the comments below!
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