Not all bad guys (and girls) are dressed the same. Some will make you feel safe and make you swoon with every single thing that they do. They are dressed as a harmless sheep; they are lovable, your friend would approve of them, and you would soon fall for them. And that, right there, is the beginning of the end. There are people who are good at making other people fall in love with them but are never really ready to give the love back.
They will have excuses like a messed up past relationship, abandonment and trust issues, or they are simply just “not mature enough” to be in a relationship. But nonetheless, they will still say and do things to you that will make it hard for you to let them go. Here are the signs that you should never overlook that would mean that the person you like is simply leading you on A.K.A. pa-fall.
1. They will make you feel special but not too special. There are times when you feel super down and all you want to do is talk to someone who will understand you. They’re going to be there for you; if you feel insecure, they’ll tell you how amazing you are. They will make you feel special, but will keep you at arm’s length at the same time. They will only be sweet to you when the situation calls for it, and that's the sad truth.
2. They send mixed signals. Sometimes, they're hot; other times, they're cold. One day, they'd be overly affectionate and ask you if you've already eaten lunch. The next, it's like, "Who are you?" They will confuse you and we're pretty sure that it only feeds their ego. You’re just another person that is affected by their charm.
3. They “like” you, but they're not ready for a relationship. This will mess your mind up, for sure. This will make you think, “Am I not enough?” They will say stuff like the cliche “It’s not you, it’s me” thing, and if you are too in love, you will believe them and you will stay—you will keep believing the make believe. But here's a reality check: if they're not ready for you now, when will they ever be?
4. They don’t care about important occasions in your life. Feeling unimportant sucks. If you invited them to your birthday party and they decline without a thought, red flags should be waving high! If you like someone, why would you miss an occasion that very is special to them, right?
5. They only hang out with you if it’s convenient for them. Nothing screams side chick like this one. If they genuinely like you, and they actually care about you, they will make you feel like it. They will make time for you. If they're the real thing, hanging out with them should never make you feel like you're demanding. You deserve so much more than that!
6. They don’t try to get to know you on a deeper level. When the person you like says they like you but they don’t make an effort getting to know you, you know something is wrong. They don’t ask about your day, how many siblings you have, or what your parents’ names are. Sorry, sis. Truth bomb time—you have to get out of that non-relationship because we both know you’re the only one who’s going to get hurt.
7. They care too much...about more than one person. You know what, they are smart. These pa-fall people know exactly the trick to gaining everyone's affection. They don’t commit, so you will not have the right to be jealous. You will hear people say that the person you like is flirting with someone and you will just be there in the corner half-choking, half laughing. You will realize that you’re not the only “special” one. Ouch!
8. They want your flirtationship to stay as a secret. This is a major red flag! If you agreed to this situation, what the heck were you thinking? You just gave them the permission to secretly break your heart and nobody would even know that you’re hurting. Love is something people should celebrate, not hide. Remember: never settle being somebody’s dirty little secret. Lesson learned!
9. They are experts at apologizing and making excuses. This is what they’re best at. Saying "sorry" with doe eyes, fabricating stories, and making you believe the unbelievable. It's not your fault that they're good liars, but make sure you know how not to fall for their excuses and what-nots. Don't let anyone make you feel like a fool, ever!
You know what people say, “Practice doesn’t make you perfect, it just makes you better.” And alas, you can see that they’ve mastered the art of making someone fall for them and then leave them like a piece of hot potato. Now you know the signs, it's now up to you if you will rise above these toxic people or turn a blind eye. We know you can make the better judgement, so do what you gotta do even if it hurts!
ALSO READ: Daily Diaries: The Labyrinth of an Abusive Relationship
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