Finding the love of your life isn't easy, but as the saying goes, you'll know it when you know it. These people simply have that indescribable pull, that thing that makes it hard for us to resist them no matter what we do. When we meet them, it's like all the love songs finally make sense, and we discover things and feelings that we never knew we were capable of. We just know it in our hearts that this person is unlike any other and that we would gladly spend the rest of our days with them if we could.
Unfortunately, some of us don't get to keep the love of our life. Perhaps, the timing is not right. Or the other person is not yet ready. Or there are issues surrounding both of you that make a stable and lasting relationship seem impossible. They don't officially become your boyfriend or girlfriend. Or you don't get to marry them and grow old with them.
But the thing about the love of your life is that you can never really shake them off, not completely. Perhaps you still consider them as the only person you've ever loved or you're still hoping that one day, you will find your way back to each other again. If you think you've met this person already and experienced the tragedy of being apart from them, then you might be able to relate to these five things that we all go through in the process of loving and losing.
1. You love like you've never done before.
Perhaps this person is your first love or a real game-changer among all the people who have come in and out of your life. You're just so sure that no one has ever made you feel the way that this person does. And it's not the obesessive or possessive kind of love. It's the kind that is unconditional and pure. It's the kind that has made you grow and taught you so much about yourself and what it's like to give without expecting or demanding anything in return.
2. You experience real heartbreak.
One of my Theology professors in college taught me what is perhaps the most valuable lesson to keep in mind when it comes to love: that the cost of loving is getting hurt. Loving someone is one of the greatest human experiences, but just like any good thing in life, it does come with a price. When you lose the person you care for the most, it's inevitable that the pain that you will feel afterwards is also just as intense as the love you felt towards them.
3. You forgive them anyway.
If your love is pure for someone, you find it in your heart to forgive them despite the hard truth that they hurt you and left you behind. For some reason, you just don't have it in you to hate them or be bitter, and to carry these negative and burdensome feelings towards them. You choose to make peace with the fact that they are the love of your life, but you are not theirs. Or maybe, this is simply not the right time for both of you to be together. And somehow, it's okay, because you just want them to find themselves, be happy, and end up where they are meant to be even without you.
4. You let them go and start to move on.
Easy to say but harder to do, right? But if you feel like you already fought a good fight, letting go is the only option left for you. It doesn't mean that you have to stop loving them completely. It's not like you can delete a person from your thoughts or erase all the feelings you have for them. You just have to start accepting that things have come to an end and he or she is no longer yours to keep.
5. They never really lose you.
Yes, they chose to leave you. But after going through the process of healing and taking enough time, you realize that you will always be there for that person and that they will never actually lose you. You two may find your way back to each other again at some point in the future and finally start a clean slate. It doesn't have to be in a romantic way like it used to be. But what's important is that you know in your heart that they will always have a special place in your life. You will always have a soft spot for them. You will cheer for them from the sidelines. You will be proud of them even from a distance. You will always believe in the good in them, the good that made you love them in the first place.
Getting over someone who made a huge impact in your life is next to impossible. But the good news is that you can get over the hurt. You can and you will be okay. And you will come out stronger than ever. Just take all the time you need. What was once real will always be real. There's no need to regret or to demand more than what fate has given you. Just be grateful for all the lessons you've learned, and love them still when they show up in your heart from time to time.
ALSO READ: Daily Diaries: 6 Self-Love Lessons I Learned At 23
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