Fact: moving on is a process. It isn’t something you decide to do, it just happens. You can’t just snap and say that you are okay—it will happen slowly until you feel painless. You’ll just realize that you’ve moved on when you start wanting to feel again or when you stopped hurting.
Here, we list the things that people who are moving on will most likely experience while in the process of mending their broken hearts.
1. You wallow in sadness. Feeling devastated after a breakup is completely normal. It would actually surprise people if you are happy or smiling after a breakup. You are moving on, so it is okay to be emotional. Cry a river, but also learn how to swim—things will get better.
2. You flirt around. There are people who use other people to move on. You flirt with other people without really giving your heart. We ain’t judging, but we don’t recommend this. You are not only hurting yourself but also the rebound person.
3. You close yourself off to people. You are not ready to feel again so you shut everyone out. You don’t trust anybody especially after the things that happened to you and your ex. Just make sure you aren't shutting out those who are willing to help you during these times a.k.a. your closest friends.
4. You drink too much. Some people drink to forget, but we all know that the effects of alcohol only last for few hours. After that, you will feel the almost physical pain again. But there will come a time when you are finally okay and you can already say that, “I stopped drinking about you.”
5. You drunk call or text them. With liquid courage, you will contact them and will make a fool out of yourself. This is quite common for people who are moving on while also wanting to get their exes back. Well, joke’s on you. This will just boost their already inflated ego and will make them feel that you can’t live without them—which isn’t true because you can and you will. Just avoid holding your phone while you are out drinking, then you will not pour your broken heart out ever again.
6. You will get that revenge body. New phone, who’s this? People who are going through a heartbreak will make themselves look good to feel good. Whatever floats your boat, but you when you are moving on, remember that the best revenge is to be okay without them.
7. You see things that will remind you of your ex. This is common when it comes to long-term relationships. You remember your partner in everything you see—even as tiny as a toothpick, there is a memory. OA as it may seem, but everything you feel is valid. The only person who will actually understand you is yourself. Create new memories and don’t dwell on the past. Eventually, when you look back at those memories, you can now muster a smile and not shed a single tear. Just be thankful they became a part of your life once.
8. You find your outlet. No matter where you are good at, whether it be painting, baking, writing, or whatever, use it to somewhat ease the pain. Find something that will help you get through day by day. Since moving on is a process, let your pain become art—let it inspire you to make something productive one day at a time.
9. You think about them mid-day. Worse than the dreaded 3am thoughts are your 3pm thoughts. Why? Because while you are busy, while you are doing everything to distract yourself, the thought of them comes popping in your mind then the avalanche of memories starts flashing back. You can’t escape this no matter what you do. You will feel the pain again. But this, too, shall pass. You are strong, and you get through those pangs of missing them.
10. You get emotional whenever you hear songs that remind you of them. The truth is, happy memories make you sad. When you hear a specific song that both of you used to adore, it will trigger those good memories. And upon reminiscing and imagining the possible what-could-bes, it will again make you feel the pain you’ve been running from. Being sentimental isn’t bad at all. What you have to do is don’t dwell on sadness. Try to cheer yourself up. At the end of the day, the decision to be happy is in your hands.
After you go through sadness, anger, denial, and other possible mix of emotions, absorb them and bottle them up when it's time for you to put them in your memory bank. Moving on isn’t really about forgetting. It is about learning. It is about moving forward with the lessons that the past has taught you.
ALSO READ: Cheat Sheet: How To Reject Someone You Hope To Keep As A Friend
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