There is this old myth that the harder the rainfall, the faster it wanes. Just like that, whirlwind romances almost always never last. If that's the case, why not try taking your time falling in love? A slower fall hurts less than the fast ones, right?
Here's the thing: you’ve fallen in love before and it obviously didn’t work. You’ve been scared to love again. Or maybe you’ve tried again after that failed romance. The thing is, maybe you didn’t let yourself heal before trying again. Maybe, you rushed getting into another relationship—and it failed again and again.
Those times you’ve tried might’ve given you the most intense feelings you’ve ever felt in your life—almost everything felt like a fleeting romance or a summer fling. The feelings are all valid, but they just pass and wane then eventually die. Then, you find yourself single for months or even years. Not because nobody likes you, but because you decided to be. This time you want to take things slower. This time you want to be sure. Because it makes perfect sense. If instant attractions ain’t working for you, why not try to slow down? And this time it might just work. Here's why:
You’ve learned to love life. What you’ve learned for the past months or years of being single is that life has more to offer than romantic relationships. You’ve explored life without other people’s opinions influencing how you see it. You’ve also learned that life is flawed. Life is fair for being unfair for everyone. You’ve seen what life really looked like when you removed the rose-colored lenses of young love so you just fell deeper in love with life—without reservations and without hesitations.
You've realized your worth. The thing about being single for too long is that you’ve had all the time in the world to learn everything that made your last relationship fail. Having the luxury of some alone time to think, you’ve realized your worth and promised yourself to never settle for anything less than what you know you deserve. You just have to take your time to find that ideal relationship.
You’ll love with your head and your heart. You’ve experienced loving by just following what your heart desires. You’ve been hurt and have learned through the process, so when you decided to fall in love again—when you let yourself feel love again—you’ll make sure that you are careful, you’ll make sure that you will love using both your head and your heart.
You’ve learned to hold your own hand. Having been single for a long time, you’ve known to love yourself more than anyone could. You know that you don’t need any other person to have a will to live. You’ve hugged yourself when you felt cold, you’ve given yourself back taps when you know you did something great. Although having someone in your life that will hold your hand will be a bit of a shock and it may confuse you (you’ll have enough time to adjust), you’ll learn to accept that, sometimes, it’s okay to let someone see your weaknesses. It’s okay to let someone hold you for no reason. It’ll be a struggle, but you’ll be fine.
You’re looking for someone who’ll stay. And when you decide to fall in love again, you’ll want it to be your forever person. You’ve waited for this moment for so long—you’ve imagined this love to be unlike any other love you’ve watched or read. You’d want this love to be a romantic film solely written for you. You’ll want this person to be a mainstay in a series full of recurring love interests.
When you feel like you’re falling in love again, think it over and make sure that you are falling in love because you want to, not because you feel the pressure of being in a relationship. Never rush. Take it slow and fall deeper than ever. Learn from what people say, a fire that burns too bright sometimes isn’t meant to last—an ember no matter how little the fire is is the last thing people put out in a fire.
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Banner photograph from Chalk Magazine. GIFs from GIPHY.