We all have the idea of how perfect our first time should be like. Sometimes, we imagine ourselves with the man or woman of our dreams after our wedding. Sometimes, it's with the one we're with now. Sometimes, things just happen—and it can teach us a lesson or two.
Here, Chalk talks to young adults about their first time—real stories of real people on what happened and what they felt after going through the experience.
"I'm a girl and my first time was with my then-girlfriend. The real question is: what is virginity? Between two straight people, you can easily know and tell that you've lost it. My first time with my ex-girlfriend, it was both our first. We were both clueless on what to do, but we found it fun and passionate. I lost my virginity when I gave her the part of me that I know she'll accept, love, care, and respect. I lost it when I was emotionally naked for the first time in my life. I don't regret it, even if we're broken up now." —Ja, 22
"I was young, naive, and curious. I fell in love with my coach who is five years older than me. I know, it's weird. There wasn't an 'us,' but we had a mutual understanding that we liked each other. We were never official, but he did things only boyfriends usually do. He brought me to his home and I met his family. I knew he wanted to do it—I was really curious, so I said yes. After that, I realized that I didn't really have feelings for him and it was just pure curiosity. It was just a one-time thing, so I ended it. At first, I was paranoid that I might get pregnant. I also felt the guilt and regret that I lost it to the wrong person at the wrong time." —Rose, 19
"I'm gay and I lost my virginity to my then-boyfriend. We went to my house right after our last morning class because we knew nobody would be home 'til the evening. We both didn't know what to do. As we were in the middle of doing it, I felt uncomfortable. He would later find blood somewhere that caused him to faint. I tried to wake him up and when he finally did and explained what he saw, we just laughed!" —Justin, 21
"I realized that I wasn't ready for the possible consequences. I lost it to someone who isn't my girlfriend. It all started during one of our conversations. I asked her what sex feels like because I knew she's been sexually active for a while. One time, we played Truth or Dare. In one of the rounds, she danced and whispered something to me. We later kissed and did it. Since it was my first time, it got me thinking after: if she ever got pregnant, would I be ready to take the responsibility? I stayed away from her for it to not happen again. At one point, her period was late. I panicked, I didn't know what to do, but it turned out as false alarm." —Milo, 21
"I learned from it and will not do it ever again—cheating, I mean. I had a boyfriend at that time, but it didn't happen with him. It was with a friend, a male friend with a girlfriend. We both cheated. I'm not proud, but it happened. It was supposed to be a busy day in school. I arrived early morning for an event, but I found out that it was moved later in the afternoon. I live far from school, but some of my friends lived near. I texted them if I can stay over, and this male friend replied that I can hang out in his place while waiting then we can go to school together. I went. He then offered me the bed to sleep on for a while. I fell asleep until I felt his hands touching my side. I turned my face towards him and he kissed my cheeks then he asked if it was okay because I was in a relationship. My answer was a question: I asked him if it was okay with him since he was in a relationship, too. We kissed passionately, then we did it. We both cheated on our partners. In the end, karma had its way because just minutes after the deed, I bled. It didn't feel normal. I had to go to the OB-GYN to get checked. Eventually, I found out that I have a retroverted uterus, which would make sex really painful for me." —Maddy, 21
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Banner photograph from Chalk Magazine. GIFs from GIPHY.