There's simply something about Solenn Heusaff and Nico Bolzico. This power couple seems to have it all figured out. They belong to a breed of couples who have a palpable level of trust and respect for one another. Which begs the question: What are they doing to maintain this high level of connection? In truth, there is no magic potion to brew or lottery ticket to cash in for the elusive "happily ever after." Most, if not all, couples have their differences. Healthy, lasting relationships are not built in a day. A solid couple is composed of two people who are willing to put in the work. Nico and Solenn show us their own way of keeping their magic alive:
"Where there is trust there is freedom," reveals Nico. In order for the two of you to fully realize your potential as a couple, you need to practice vulnerability. You have to be willing to trust your partner not only with your feelings but with your weaknesses. Trust takes practice and is earned one step at a time. Even when trust is broken, strong couples find a way to repair a breach and work on their issues as a team.
"Learn how to do things together," adds Solenn. Relationships are about two people coming together to form a team and quality time together is how people in the strongest relationships forge their bonds. Intimacy is built through conscious connection and time spent in each other's company lets you learn about the inner workings of your partner's mind and psyche. Healthy couples believe in each other's strengths and complement each other's weaknesses. They utilize both to support each other and form a powerhouse duo, each adding value to their partner's lives.
"Respect the person you are with," advises Nico. In lasting relationships, both partners value each other and take care with their words, actions, and behaviors. Respect is understanding and accepting your partner completely. People in healthy relationships motivate, inspire, lift each other up. They understand that they will never completely agree with their partners, and they find ways to work through their differences in an assertive but tactful way.
"Keep separate finances," says Solenn. Even the most compatible mates have different financial philosophy and values. Having joint finances leads to a lot of problems down the road. Someone is bound to do something that annoys the other, sparking arguments that can quickly escalate into breakup-level battles that have very little to do with money. When each party handles their own money the way they see fit, it lessens the chances of igniting a volatile lover’s quarrel.
"Give 'me' time to each other," reveals Solenn. Don't have the same group of friends," she adds, "Don't always do things together." While it is important to spend quality time together, healthy couples understand that they cannot expect each other to fill every bucket. They understand that as individuals, they each have passions and desires that they explore individually. By taking the necessary time for themselves, healthy couples give each other the freedom to drop their 'social guard,' to be introspective, to think for themselves. Time alone allows you to view your life from a new perspective. You'll be able to reflect on the good, the joy, the triumphs, and the hardships that have made you stronger as a couple.
"Work for it," says Nico. "It's not like you're going to be 'in love' forever," he adds, "You have to make an effort all the time." After some time in relationships, we often forget to show love and affection toward our partners. If you put this into the perspective of the health and future of the relationship, you’re likely to take more constructive actions and behave differently. Making an effort is about replenishing your fire so the relationship can last. It can be as simple as touching, holding, or kissing your partner for no reason at all. Or it could mean a thoughtful gesture like extending more help around the house. Learn how your partner receives love the best and do more of that.
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Photographs from Instagram.com/solennheussaff
Banner photo by author