People & Inspiration

In Focus: What Every Guy Can Learn From Tommy Esguerra

In Focus: What Every Guy Can Learn From Tommy Esguerra

When we shot Tommy Esguerra and Miho Nishida for our Valentine's Special post their Pinoy Big Brother stint, it was undeniable how sincerely they loved each other. Their actions—getting lost in each other's eyes, seeming as if they were in a world all their own—showcased feelings that were deeper than attraction. Now, though, some movie projects and a morning teleserye after, ToMiho is over, much to the heartbreak of their thousands of fans.

[related: #ThisModernLove: Five Ways ToMiho Will Turn Any Cynic Into A Believer of Sweet, Authentic Love]

Most celebrity men (and men in general) would give their side of the story when asked, just to set the record straight. But not Tommy. Yes, he did open up a bit during his guesting on Magandang Buhay, saying, "I fought for our relationship from the beginning to the end but there comes a point when you will realize that there's nowhere to go," but there was no blaming, no anger. It was also apparent how he tried to focus on the positive no matter how much he was hurting. It was the same demeanor we noticed Tommy had when we caught up with him at the Tribes Summer Camp last weekend. We dared ask him about the breakup, but he politely declined.

"The most I can do is stay positive. I don't want to let out everything that’s going on, I wanna keep the respect there. The relationship was public but the breakup was difficult," he shares. If only all guys can be as considerate! We know how tough breakups can be for both parties, and we think there's much to be learned from Tommy right here—as in, how to be very decent and tactful even when you're hurting:


Thou shall surround yourself with positive people. "I’m moving on, I have good people around me who keep me up and alive. Thank God, if I didn’t have them I don’t know where I’d be," he says. Instead of going cray, getting drunk and all, choose to hang out with people who can give you a proper perspective on why things happened the way they happened. Cliché as it sounds, a strong support system can help pull you through the toughest of times.

Currently, Tommy is busy honing his performing skills through song and dance production numbers on ASAP.

Thou shall channel your energy into reassessing your life. Breakups often lead to all sorts of questions—where am I lacking? what wrong did I do? did I try hard enough to make things work?—but instead of crying over spilt milk, focus on how you can move forward. Before you tell us that that's easy to say yet hard to do, take it from Tommy: "With everything that has happened, the breakup and the teleserye we just finished, I don't want to go on full throttle working again just yet, and then not have time for anything else. I want to be able to focus on living and on assessing where I really wanna go and what I want to do instead of just going through the motions of life."

Thou shall not lose yourself. "You have your own life, you should always always have your own personal things going on, your own personal adventures and hobbies. Don’t lose those just 'cause you get busy or you're busy with other people," notes Tommy. "Don’t lose yourself in work, or in the madness of it all. There should always be checks and balances."

There's no denying that Tommy's heart is in the right place—he may be hurting, but there's no bitterness, only hope of better days ahead. And guy sure has got his morals intact, too. "There's this whole you gotta forgive and forget thing, but being in a relationship is something sacred and if you’re not willing to uphold that, if someone gave you their heart and you don’t protect that, then you’re a horrible person. That’s the worst you can possibly do—it breaks people," he says of cheating.


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