Sometimes, a crush sounds like a shallow thing when, on the contrary, we dare not tell anyone at first for fear of ruining any hopes (usually these secret types are deeper felt). Depending on the level of admiration and proximity, whether they know we exist or already deal with us daily, there can be tender feelings at stake. There is one thing that rings true for all who carry a torch for someone, we usually want to know significantly more about them or know if the universe holds one spark of hope or possibility for our affections to be mutual.
[related: The Six Fix: Your Playlist for Days When You Want An Extra Dose of Kilig]
I didn't want to use the word "effective" in this post to describe the strings of wisdom I want to put up. That's not my thing. I discourage scheming or employing shrewd tactics to know a person. Knowing another human is a priceless and worthy thing. All the mission needs at the helm in order to be successful in making a connection is this, the full knowledge that while we are trying not to be blinded by the light that dazzles us we also ought to believe we have our own special light to shine. Here are a couple of ways, or mindsets if you will, that will at least help you in forming a proper connection with the person you admire.
1. Observe, don't obsess. When we crush on someone, we're secretly dazzled by what they appear to be. It's sweet to note details about them, like what's most important to them, what makes them smile or what goals they pursue. It is better to not magnify what isn't there or what hasn't surfaced. Avoid overthinking and simply beam with appreciation.
2. Be friendly, but not "feeling close". You want to come off as warm, not creepy, unless growing up in the wild is your excuse.
3. Be busy with your stuff, do you and don't get caught up. Some people when they've ignited at the onset of a crush go into a self-sabotaging state of life paralysis. Keep doing your usual and be reasonably busier if possible.
4. In most opportunities, be helpful. You care and that's pretty much the extent of where it's at and so why not let actions speak louder than words? Real friends help.
5. Keep smiling, keep communicating, and be a good friend, without expecting specifics in return. There's a fine line between expecting and being entitled. Hoping for the best though while truly adding to that person's life, is encouraged, that is until your gut has prevailed and that it is time and you know them well enough to express your feelings. No matter what the circumstances, be true and discerning. Watch also at the end of this article an insightful, truly heartwarming video about the warm glow of crushes.
ALSO READ: In Focus: We Can’t Help But Swoon Over These Sugar Flowers
Images from Rotoscopers.com, heroesandheartbreakers.com, tumblr.com, giphy.com