Whichever comes first for you in your life, marriage and motherhood will almost always overlap with each other. Sometimes you may think it’s easier to deal with one after the other, but for when you need to work on it side by side, what do you discover?
Having been married for four years and a mother for two, singer-songwriter Kyla shares a few things on her marriage with professional Basketball player Rich Alvarez and motherhood with son Toby Elsiah as well as the three solid common grounds between the two.
They both teach you how to manage your time.
Just thinking about all the motherhood duties put on top of wife duties is enough to drive a woman a bit too far to the edge. Hence, the popular affirmation, “How does she do it?”
For Kyla, it’s more about being able to manage your time.
She understands the stages of her son growing up, as well as the attention her husband equally needs. “You have to be carefree with your baby para masaya lang, kasi diba kelangan ma-enjoy din nila un pagiging bata nila. You learn to play, you learn to manage your time, time for play… quiet time,” she says.
On attending to her husband, Kyla however notes how important it is to keep your sugar sweet affection for your partner to maintain that certain connection.
“You have to kiss every night… Dapat di mawawala ‘yon, tapos parang kelangan parang girlfriend ka ulit. Minsan kasi when you have a baby na, there are times I tend to focus too much on my son. You have to be sweet also kasi nag-hahanap din sila ng attention, kasi somehow nakuha na ng baby ‘yon karamihan ng attention mo so kelangan mo ibigay din sakanya un.”
They both take two to tango.
While there are probably a gazillion good things about motherhood, Kyla, embodying the true essence of it, considers “being able to take care of the baby” as one of the best parts.
But like any other relationship, the one she has with her son and her husband is no one-way thing. She notes how she has to keep learning at the same time or maybe even faster than her child saying, “Natututo ka ulit kasi gusto mo turuan un baby mo diba so natututo ka.”
As for her husband, it’s more of trusting your partner enough. “Kasi sometimes when you ask too many questions or when you don’t have trust, napa-paranoid ka diba? Kung ano ano iniisip mo, na baka ganito, baka may kausap siya. You have to learn to trust. It’s very, very important,” she stresses.
They both redefine what it means to give and love.
Being married, let alone being in a relationship throws you a few too many curveballs. Some of which teach you to navigate better, give more generously, love harder or maybe even all of the above.
Aside from the gift of nurturing her husband and son, Kyla adds, “I learn a lot from my son also. He taught me patience, tapos parang binigyan niya ko ng deeper understanding of love, the meaning of love. Kasi iba pala talaga pag may anak ka na, iba un love na kaya mo pala ibigay sa isang tao na di mo na-iimagine before na kaya mo pala gawin un.”