It’s been more than half a decade since things between you and your partner just “didn’t work out”. Your significant other turned “ex” might have cheated on you or might have lacked the spark or whatever it was you were after. So you called it quits or maybe they did. And with your high-pitched voice and high hopes to get over pronto, you tell yourself, “It’s all good, I need time for myself anyway.” And yes, that’s well and good, and people believe that… until it’s 5 years later and now they don’t.
That’s not to say that you have to convince everyone that you are actually in a good place still. But we also know that when you’ve long been single given all those years, it wouldn’t hurt to be reminded once in a while that being single is just as beautiful as being together with someone.
Actress Shaina Magdayao weighs in as she has these positive outlooks to share you with.
The thing about relationships is that when you’re in it, you do not just only think of yourself. You also think of your partner, their needs, wants; and sometimes, you do so before thinking of your own. As they say love is, after all, the ability to put other people’s happiness first before your own. But admit it, being single frees you of that bittersweet and honorable weight and allows you to just focus on yourself.
Take it from Shaina when she says, “Kasi mas priority ko ‘yon partner ko whenever I have a partner. Kaya siguro now, ini-enjoy ko lang na sarili ko ‘yon priority ko.”
Fight the boredom
You know that saying “An idle mind is the devil’s playground”? That totally applies here because when you’re bored, you tend to make pretend with those drunk texts sent to your ex which 99% of the time never turns out to be a good idea.
“Iyon mga nabo-bored diyan, huwag kayo mag settle for someone dahil you are nasa-sad or wala kang nakakasama at night . Huwag kayo mag-madali diyan kasi baka kaka-madali niyo, mag-settle kayo sa hindi ninyo naman talaga gusto,” Shaina adds.
Love your own company
It’s one thing to think you like your personality or yourself in general and it’s another thing to love your own company and be completely comfy with it. “You have to get to a point that you are comfortable alone,” Shaina tells us. “Tapos siguro the happiness, mas masarap siya if it’s coming from you and not from another person.”
Fill yourself up
The last yet the most overlooked factor in this writer’s opinion is that, when you want someone so much, you tend to just dive right in without looking at what lies beneath. You cannot give what you don’t have. You think this person that comes along may finally complete the missing piece when there is no missing piece to begin with. Do not empty yourself just so you can romanticize the idea of someone’s hand fitting with yours.
So for all the single ladies out there, whether it’s only been days or years, remember this: “You have to be at least complete or whole first before sharing yourself to someone… Take your sweet time. The right man will come.”
Filling yourself up takes time. So when other people question your being single either by choice or now that you begin to have doubts, ask yourself these questions: Why be a fool to rush in love or in what you think is love? And more importantly, why look elsewhere for things that are already in you?
If you're looking for someone to fill the void, stay single. If you feel this overwhelming love flowing from inside you that can't wait to be poured out, then by all means, free fall.