By Crisyl Ursabia
Chalk Campus Correspondent
It’s hard when a friend falls for you and you have to reject them. Usually, one of you tries to avoid the other and the friendship that was once considered a treasure is buried six feet below the ground. To avoid this, here are some tips on how to reject someone you still want to keep in your life as a friend:
1. Be direct.
It’s always better to tell the truth to make someone cry than to tell a lie to make someone smile. Tell them directly why you don’t see yourself in a relationship with them. Don’t try to wait for the “right time” because the longer you entertain, the higher the chances of them thinking that things are going great. And you don’t want to be called paasa, right?
2. Be considerate and kind.
The statement “It’s not you, it’s me” may be the most cliché statement we’ve ever heard but somehow there’s real value to it. When rejecting a friend, do not blame them. Stick to the “I” statements. For example, “I thought about this so many times. I think my (insert your not-so-good traits here) would clash with your (insert their good traits) and I really think it cannot work out. I think I’m better off as your friend.” Just make sure you're being truthful and every word really means something.
3. Do not give false hope.
The worst thing you can do when rejecting a friend is trying to comfort them by giving them false hope. Do not say you’re not ready ”yet” or you think it would be best if you remain friends “for now.” It’s more painful for them to expect something from you and not getting something in the end. If you’re going to hurt them by rejecting them, do it just once.
4. Give him a chance to respond.
Do not state your reasons and just leave them there hanging. Let them process what you said and let them express their feelings. Try comforting them by tapping their shoulders or rubbing their back. Listen to their response because what they'll say is important if you want to keep your friendship.
5. End it with a “Thank you.”
Do not end the conversation with a sour note. Tell them that they're a great person who just wasn’t right for you and that they're going to find someone who who's better for them. And then thank them for understanding your situation and everything else that they've done for you.
6. Give them time.
Lastly, give them time to heal. Accept that now, you can’t hang out and be as casual with them just like before. No matter how comfortable you were in each other’s company, accept that everything can be awkward now and everything can change. You may lose a friend for a time but when they're already okay, you can start all over again with a clean slate.
Rejecting someone and putting them in the friendzone is hard but doing it to a person that you genuinely consider as a friend is harder. Deep down, you feel like you lost a part of your daily life. But acceptance is the key, not just for them but also for you. Accept that sometimes, rejecting a friend can cost you one.
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