Human relationships are incredibly complicated and fraught with difficulty. In the early stages of getting to know someone, there's a million different ways things can go wrong. Especially if you think that the DTR means ‘dance the robot’.
Whether you're single or in a relationship, keeping up with modern dating slang can be a dizzying endeavor. Over the years, dating jargon has evolved to what it is today: beaus have turned into baes and going steady is equivalent to DTR. Sure, sexting and tindering are terms that you’ve already come across. And, we’re definitely all well acquainted with ghosting. But, thanks to social media, just as we thought we've nailed our jargon game, a slew of new ones show up, making it quite tricky to stay ahead of the curve, Keeping yourself informed and updated could make a world of difference. Here are some of the newer ones in circulation. ICYMI.
Benching. Ever had a person who messages sporadically and consistently, making plans that never actually materializes? Run far, far away. You are being benched. Also known as putting someone on the backburner, benching is when someone hedges their bets and keep people ‘on rotation’ or ‘on the bench’, so to speak. If you are being benched, you're not in the starting lineup, but haven't quite been cut from the team. The bencher might like you, but think they might like someone else more. Or maybe not. So, the bencher keeps you at a safe distance, taking their time to check in every so often, because they want to retain you as a viable option but doesn’t want to fully commit to actually dating you.
Tuning. Tuners are vague people who avoid being upfront about their feelings despite actually being romantically interested in you. Tuning refers to a dating strategy where the tuner is hoping to change the dynamic between the two of you, testing the waters with low level flirtatious moves that maintain a certain level of plausible deniability. These exchanges take place in the digital realm where the tuner drop hints in the form of likes on Facebook or Instagram. If they get solid confirmation of interest, a direct message will follow shortly. If you don’t seem to reciprocate, then they haven't put themselves too far out there.
Monkeying. The term evokes an image of a monkey swinging from branch to branch, without pause. When you have been bouncing from one relationship to the next without taking a breather in between, you are monkeying, a reference to how monkeys swing from branch to branch, without pausing.
Layby. This is closely related to monkeying. Layby refers to someone who is in a relationship but is looking to end it. These people are not happy in their current relationship, but they're not ready to breakup with their current partner just quite yet, thus setting things up with another person both as a distraction and a contingency plan. Instead of risking a period of singleness, a layby starts laying the groundwork, through a series of friendly messages that are borderline flirty, with other women or men who they might want to date next.
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