People & Inspiration

Love Actually: The Truths that Are Keeping You From "Defining the Relationship"

Love Actually: The Truths that Are Keeping You From

You’ve probably experienced (or at least, heard of) thisyou’re somewhat between that thing called “mutual understanding” yet you call “seeing each other” as “hanging out.” Familiar, yes? Well, this kind of relationship has become common nowadays. Ladies and gents meet, hit off, and meet the second time around, and soon it’s a regular thing that your friends become suspicious of your real status. Are you together or are you not? Then you realize that in all those moments with this "special" friend, this topic has not been brought up. Why, when you’re so busy getting to know and having fun with this “friend!” You, then, find yourself asking, “How do we define us?”

[related: The D Word: Are You Really Just the Best of Friends?]

 

Ava and Coby, the lead characters of the movie This Time, struggle through this hitch–the ever-confusing Labels. She asks, "Bakit, and relationship ba 'pag may label, mas may value?" to which her friends quickly answers, "Oo!" If you’re like them who's unsure about the score between you and your someone, it’s time high time that you face these truths:

 

1. It’s either you’re scared.. You're avoiding the #DTR stage because your afraid of (1) embarassing yourself by asking a stupid question, (2) losing what you have, and/or (3) the other person not feeling the same way. Feelings are a sensitive issue, you know that, so maybe keeping mum about it is the best solution.

 

2. ...Or you don’t want commitment. You think, hey, this is nothing serious, it's totally okay. Nothing's being agreed on, there are no strings attached, you're able to do things you like, at the same time satisfying that need to be cared for. You're just in it for the fun.

 

3. Or you’re in denial of your feelings. You're sooooo not feeling anything at all for this person. It just happened that you care a little bit about him... Or a little bit more. But no, you can't, it's just a crush, or, admiration, because there are a lot of things to like about him... Then you enter a daydream and see that face you're sooo yearning to see the next day... WAIT. STOP. Don't you dare call that love!

 

4. That leads to either hurting yourself... The first to fall loses the game. Right? If that fondness grew and the feeling is overwhelming it pains you to be the pseudo-sweetheart, well, the game is over. [related: The D Word: What Happens When You Distance Yourself from Someone Who Can't Love You]

 

5. ...Or you hurt the other person. The sad part here is the problem is with you, and not him. It's really a tricky situation and flirting the way you do won't guarantee a no-free fall. You feel bad, but you don't know what to be sorry for.

 

6. And the only solution here is to do The Talk. To be done and over with this disturbing stage, drag him to the side and talk. Express what you both feel, what's happening, where this is going, do you feel the same way, how do we agree to do this, what's next, are you happy with this set up, what else is there to say and do, and all the other questions that's burning in your mind for monthsor years. Clear everything between you, for your peace of mind, assurance, and hearts. Who knows, you might have the same ending as Ava and Coby.

 

ALSO READ: The D Word: From the Sweetest of Best Friends to Starry-Eyed Lovers

Photographs screencapped from Viva Ent's Youtube Channel.

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