It’s complicated: That pretty much sums up your relationship with your mom. You call her momsie or best mom when you’re in good terms, the next thing you know you’re already calling her that-last-person-I-wanted-to-see after a petty fight.
Love her or umm…dislike her at times, you will have to put up with her every waking day of your life because obviously, you cannot pick the kind of mom that will suit your desired lifestyle. So just sit back, relax, and say hello to the different kinds of mothers your mother can be in this lifetime:
1. The Number 1 Supporter Mom. Schools plays, PTA meetings, auditions, contests, she’s always there. And when you’re feeling down, she’ll come knocking on your door and tell you all the good things about life.
You love and appreciate her 100% support but sometimes it’s just too much and you fear that you’re becoming too dependent on her. Plus, the momma’s boy / momma’s girl title is… not so much of a compliment anymore when you're trying to establish yourself as an independent and competent individual.
2. The Cool Mom. You can ask her about the latest trends, bring her to gigs, talk about that band you like... yes, she’s that awesome. She’s the kind of mom your friends will probably invite to parties and will ask for words of wisdom from since she’s easy to get along with.
But while you appreciate her coolness and stuff, sometimes you feel this pang of jealousy because you think people want her company, not yours.
3. The Old-Fashioned Mom. She’s the complete opposite of the cool mom. She loves sharing stories of how her generation differs from yours and why their admirable traits should be restored. The struggle is real when you go out wearing 'informal clothes' or get home past 9PM.
That's just the way she was raised but there are times when you just wanted her to understand that the world is different now, and, on the most basic level. wearing trendy clothes doesn't mean you're a bad person.
4. The Mother Who Always Knows What’s Best. You can put your two cents on a certain issue, pick jeans instead of dressy ensembles, or explain why you’re choosing cereals over hotsilog for breakfast; but don’t get your hopes too high because no matter what you say, mother still knows what’s best.
While you have long accepted the fact that her set of standards is the one you should follow to avoid misundersatndings (and well, she’s right most of the time), you secretly wish for that one special day when she will finally agree with you.
5. The Career Super Mom. She’s the epitome of a successful woman. She’s the cool boss who’s ready to take calls anytime and always on-the-go when it comes to business trips and emergencies. And when someone asks you who your fave hero is, you’ll gladly recite her name and all her great achievements.
But after all the praises saying how lucky you are to have her, deep inside you wish that she could just be a normal mom who can cook your beloved dishes and cuddle with you late at night. Because unfortunately, she spends more time caring for the company than your own family.
6. The Terror Mommy. She’s the crossbreed of the always right mom and the career super mom but with a twist – she spreads the feeling of terror and indifference like fire (case in point: Vilma Santos in Everything About Her). You badly want to write a hugot letter about her because of your love-hate relationship. Sometimes you just want to say out loud that she badly needs to take a chill pill but she might just shut you down.
Yet despite her terrifying aura and all the drama that you've been through, you know that she has a good heart. Life can be so stressful and it's affecting her negatively. Deep inside you know that she loves you so much, she just can't show it right.
We can describe our moms in crazy different ways but they’ll never fall in the perfect category. They were never programmed to become a super woman and expecting them to be one is absurd. And despite her weirdness and all, you will love her no matter what.
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Illustration by Jana Jimenez