There’s so much stuff that can go sideways in doing business, in getting pleasure, and more so in mixing the two. So what really happens when you hold a job and a relationship both in one place?
R&B Prince Jay R helps us dissect the issue and shares his take on the perks and challenges of working with your lover in the same industry.
Shared Passion and Emotions
Depending on how close you have to work together but assuming you need to do daily coordination with each other, this certain scenario can bring you and your partner both joy and stress in the process. True, there’s nothing like having someone you trust close by, either to discuss work stuff with or to simply be with when you feel like taking a quick break.
But when stress and pressure arise, can you two really handle the heat? The thing is, you may have someone to share your passion with but you also have someone to pour your heightened emotions into. For some, that may be a recipe for disaster.
Jay R puts it best when he says, “When you share something with someone, it makes it more special. And when you achieve goals, it’s even more special when you can share it with somebody. Now the cons… even though two heads are better than one, they also say mixing family and business is very hard… a lot of emotions get involved especially when you’re in a relationship, not only with your girlfriend but with family. When you mix it… sometimes the communication lines are very blurry. I would say that it’s one of the disadvantages.”
Now we don’t mean to discourage and say it can’t be done. You just have to have your own survival kit of understanding to prepare you for things that are most likely to happen working with your significant other.
We’ve interviewed Effie (not her real name), 26, who had worked closely with her boyfriend for five years. And while they didn’t quite make it, she shares these are some of the things she thinks could have helped saved their relationship.
Raise your point, not your voice. As Jay R says, heightened emotions make for blurred communication. Sometimes when you’re too passionate over something, you tend to raise your voice with much gusto in the impression it will get your point across faster, only that it doesn’t. If anything, it comes across as harsh and arrogant. A little gentleness can go a long way and will probably get you more years in your relationship.
Think ‘power duo’ than going solo. You know that certain “you and me against the world” feeling when you guys were still starting out? It helps to maintain that sense of partnership most especially when you closely work with each other and at times get on each other’s nerves.
Compartmentalize, not overanalyze. Supposed you had a major fight the night before a big presentation, while it’s hard, choose to put it in the backburner for a second so it doesn’t get in the way of your work. You’d have the proper time and avenue to sort out your issues and it’s certainly not in front of your clients or colleagues.
Less ego, more love. Being passionate towards your work and your partner at the same time is simply a new level of difficulty on its own. Ego gets in the way; your idea is better than his or vice versa and no one would just admit defeat. And when that happens, you just have two options: have the maturity to deal with it by objectively weighing all the suggestions before deciding or take your ego wherever you go—fights and hurt feelings included.