In a world of modern dating, a sea of instant yes and no’s, and short-lived split-screen romances, how do you tell if you’re actually being wooed?
Is he just being nice or is he really into you? He asks you out but is it a date? We know you find yourself singing to Justin Bieber asking “What do you mean?” Let the boys of HARANA Joseph Marco, Marlo Mortel, Michael Pangilinan, and Bryan Santos weigh in and try to shed some light on this and more by sharing their dating style, flirting tips, and their take on courtship and one night stands.
By definition, Courtship is a period where someone formally pursues the other for the purpose of further developing attraction which hopefully leads to romantic ties. Contrary to other people’s belief, courtship is not some Jurassic-age or obsolete concept and it won’t be fair to say that gone are the days when wooing meant flowers, chocolates or love songs sung outside your house because one way or another, those still exist to this day.
When people claim “hindi na uso ang ligawan”, we think what they really meant was the overlooked factor of meeting the parents first and foremost before anything else.
We asked the boys of HARANA if they still believe in courtship and here’s what they have to say:
Bryan: No, hindi ako naniniwala sa sobrang best foot forward pero once nakuha mo na, mawawala na lahat ‘yon. Pakita mo ‘yon gagawin mo pag naging girlfriend (mo siya). More like, ok I’m interested. Makikita naman ‘yon through your actions, by dating.
Marlo: Yes of course, I believe in courtship. Why? Because it’s a way of showing respect to the girl. Na kailangan papakita mo muna kung ano ‘yon mga kaya mong gawin bago maging kayo. Kumbaga dadalaw ka sa bahay para pormal na liligawan mo siya.
Joseph: Ako I just show interest sa girl, pinaparamdam ko. I give time to her, I talk to her every day. Siguro dun na niya mafe-feel na, “ah nanliligaw na ‘to.” Kasi ako pag binlock ko na un mga ibang babaeng nakakausap ko, pag di ko na sila kinakausap, tapos ‘yon attention ko na sa kanya ibig sabihin, gusto kita. Sakin sobrang importante ‘yon getting to know, iba kasi pag alam mong pinaghirapan mo eh, mas hahawakan mo siya. You’re gonna take care of it, of her.
Michael: Ako yes, kasi di naman ibig sabihin na liligawan mo siya, old version eh. Parang haharanahin mo na siya. Kaya nga kami naging harana eh, para kami ‘yon mag-pasimula ng bagong version ng panliligaw.
On the best way to flirt with women
Bryan: Para sakin, eye contact. The way you play with your eyes.
Joseph: Being a gentleman. That’s the best way.
Michael: Ako ‘yon pag-dikit ng skin, sa lower part
On their dating style
Bryan: Hindi ako ma-movie kasi di mo makakausap. Dinner, getting to know the person.
Marlo: Ako lunch. Before mag-gabi uwi na siya.
Joseph: Actually ako kahit ano naman, as long as nakakausap mo siya kasi pag nakakausap mo ‘yon isang tao makikita mo un personality niya. The way she acts, the way she moves.
Michael: Watching movies
On one night stands
Bryan: Nakakapagod. Buong gabi naka-tayo ka lang. All-out effort kasi… na maka-tayo ka buong gabi. Kailangan ma-sustain mo un na nakatayo ka buong gabi.
Marlo: For me, di ako nag-aapprove dyan. Kasi for me it’s one way of showing you don’t respect the girl. Kasi mostly ‘yon mga ganyan, kaka-kilala mo pa lang sa panahon na yon eh. Diba so parang pag ginawa mo yun kaagad sa kanila parang nakakapagod din naman na pnagod mo siya. It’s one way of showing na that girl is not worthy of your respect.
Joseph: Well for me I think it’s a waste of time, and temporary. And kahit gaano ka nag-enjoy at the end of the day, you’ll feel empty. Na parang ano bang nakuha ko dun, ano bang mata-take home ko dun sa ginawa ko. Pina-pakita mo na di mo nirerespect un babae, at the same time parang di mo rin nire-respeto un sarili mo.
Michael: Parang kabastusan ‘yon sa pagkababae nun tao.
Overall, forging relationships, regardless of how you label it—courtship, dating, getting to know, hanging out, exclusively dating, mutual understanding—simply boils down to actions. The ones done out of sincerity, the ones done out of respect, and the ones done out of genuine affection.